Template:Goldmanstory

The apocryphal Goldman story

There is a story that a man known to all by only his Christian name at Goldman once had occasion to call the trading desk, at the time connected via a multi-line dealer board. Lord I wish it were true, but I doubt it. Let us call him Bob (not his real name, because this didn't happen, remember?).

A voice — youthful, without the tell-tale timbre of age and experience — picked up and, as on a trading desk one does, said:

Trader: “Goldman.” (This is a statement. there is no inquiry, no rising inflection of curiousness. It's a statement.)

Bob: “Yeah, can I get Jerry?” (Now, when you are known to all by your Christian name you don't bother with formalities like politeness. Nor, for that matter, do traders.

Trader: He's off the desk.

~click~

Now Bob might not bother with politeness, but he rather thinks he's entitled to it. No message, even? Perhaps this young man didn't realize to whom he was speaking. Bob calls back.

Trader: “Goldman.”

Bob: “Look, it's Bob here. Can I get Jerry?”

Trader: I just told you he’s off the desk.

~click~

This will not do. Bob, having dispensed with any doubt he may have been awarding this young fellow the benefit of, calls back a final time.

Trader: “Goldman.”

Bob: Listen to me young man. I just called to ask for Jerry

Trader: I listened. And I told you he's off the desk.

Bob (exploding): DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!

Trader: Yes. You're Bob. You're the executive chairman of the firm.

Bob: Right.

Trader: But, Bob, you don't know who I am, do you?

Bob: Ahh, ... no?

Trader: Right.

~click~