Molesworth as role model
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Asked to chose his favourite literary character as an inspiration for law, the JC — after a wistful look at A. P. Herbert’s curmudgeonly litigant Albert Haddock — chose of course Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle’s immortal, heroic schoolboy nigel molesworth, self-styled “curse of st custards”, made real through the winsome prose real-life schoolmaster Geoffrey Willans and real-world illustrating genius, Ronald Searle, in a series of books published in the 1950s and now available through compensiums like The Complete Molesworth.
Moleworth doesn’t stand on form or ceremony in how he expresses himself. In an age of obsessive formalism, nigel is the embodiment of unapologetic substance. Through imaginative subversion of the vernacular, molesworth has instead generated his own idiom which — as any fule kno — survives to this day in respectful publications like Private Eye and the (cough) the jole contrian. Wantonly, he eschews convention in favour of clear, forthright communication. He cuts through: his language and his clarity of vision survives the ages:
Second to swots headmasters like boys who are good at foopball and shoot goals then they can shout ‘Pile in caruthers strate for goal’ or other weedy things from the touchline.
Personally i am not good at foopball i just concentrate on hacking everbode. Headmaster yell at me he sa MARK YOUR MAN MOLESWORTH ONE what does he think i am the arsenal chiz. Acktually fotherington-tomas is worse than me he is goalie and spend his time skipping about he sa Hullo clouds hullo sky hullo sun ect when huge centre forward bearing down on him and SHOT whistles past his nose. When all the team sa you shuuld have hav stoped it fothertingon-tomas he repli ‘I simply don’t care a row of buttons whether it was a goal or not nature alone is beattful’.
It would be lovely if more lawyers —in-house and out — would look at their world the same way.
Molseworth is also the quintessential legal operations man. He understands the importance of form and automation of tiresome and unnecessary tasks — take, for example, the patented molesworth self-adjusting thank-you letter
which at a stroke solves the problem of communicating unctuously with matron aunts to thank them for birthday presents you didn’t really want. If there is a better description of commercial law than that, I can’t think of it.
Molesworth has a unique way of looking at the world, instinctively understanding the natural order of things, why it is perverse, thereby, its potential for subversion for better effect. Hence, his handy, countercultural guides to the alien landscape of SKOOL and all its manifold institutions and demagogueries.
Thus, nigel molesworth is for ever one of the troops, a rank and filer, but for his wit and his wry observation, at the mercy of masters, matron, the skool dog, sossages and GURLS chiz chiz. But he believes in himself, what he stands for, and realises it takes grit and determination not to mention knowledge of How To Be Topp.