Believe this: You are exquisite. You are exceptional. You are limitless.: Difference between revisions

From The Jolly Contrarian
Jump to navigation Jump to search
No edit summary
No edit summary
 
(2 intermediate revisions by the same user not shown)
Line 3: Line 3:
Really, you aren’t.  
Really, you aren’t.  


'''You’re limited''': However exquisite you may be, you’re ''definitely'' not limitless: you have two arms, two legs, a limited concentration span, you can’t multi-task and you’re all going to pushing up daisies before the century is out. But many of you will have surpassed your level of incompetence and ought to be more grateful than your [[LinkedIn]] feed suggests you are that no-one’s worked this out yet. For most of you this will be because the fellow best placed to work it out — your line manager — is just as hopeless as you are.
'''You’re limited''': However exquisite you may be, you’re ''definitely'' not limitless: you have two arms, two legs, a limited concentration span, you can’t multi-task and you’re going to be pushing up daisies before the century is out. Sorry, fella: you have a shelf-life, so make the most of it.  


'''You're unexceptional''': With “exceptional” we immediately bump up against a definitional bound. Sorry, [[LinkedIn]], there is some bad news: you ''aren’t'' all exceptional. Three quarters of you ''can’t'' be. This isn’t our usual bitter contrarianism but simple logic: an ''exception'' requires a ''rule'' and, odds are, you’re it: your role in the grand cosmic scheme is to sit there, grimly hacking away in the mediocre middle; helping to form a dreary collective yardstick against which better men and women can be measured. And if ''that’s'' not sobering enough, at least half of you should be faintly relieved to have made it even ''that'' far. There are as many exceptionally dim people as there are good ones, and there, but for the excessive credulity of someone else, go you.
But for many of you ''already will have made the most of it''. Whatever small fame you have acquired yet surpasses your own level of incompetence, and you should be more grateful than your [[LinkedIn]] feed suggests you are that no-one who matters has worked this out yet. For most of you, this will be because the fellow best placed to work it out — your line manager — is just as as far past hers as you are past yours.


'''You’re not exquisite. Not in a good way, at any rate''': The internets tell us that [[exquisite]] is means “''extremely'' beautiful and delicate; intensely felt.” Certainly, sensibilities on [[LinkedIn]] are uncommonly delicate, we don’t think that’s quite the sense of “exquisite” you had in mind.
'''You’re unexceptional''': With “exceptional” we immediately bump up against a definitional bound. Sorry, [[LinkedIn]], there is some bad news: you ''aren’t'' all exceptional. You ''can’t'' all be an exception. This isn’t our usual bitter contrarianism but simple logic: an ''exception'' requires a ''rule'' and, odds are, you’re it: your role in the grand cosmic scheme is to sit there, grimly hacking away in the mediocre middle; helping to form a dreary collective yardstick against which better men and women than you can be measured.  


The thing about extremes is that they are comparatively small, and you judge them by reference to the big dull lump between them. If you take inspiration from the pearls [[LinkedIn]]’s [[thought leader]]s and influencers cast before the collective sty, our money says, whoever you are, you’re not at the ''good'' end of the talent distribution.
And if ''that’s'' not sobering enough, at least half of you should be pleased you have made it even into the middle: fully 50% of the exceptional are the exceptionally dim, dull and slow-witted. There, but for the extreme hopelessness of some other poor soul, go you.
 
'''You’re ''not'' exquisite''': Not in a good way, at any rate. The internets tell us that [[exquisite]] is means “''extremely'' beautiful and delicate; intensely felt.” Certainly, sensibilities on [[LinkedIn]] are uncommonly delicate, we don’t think that’s quite the sense of “exquisite” you had in mind.
 
The thing about extremes is that they are a comparative minority, and you judge them by their distance from the big dull lump in between. The lump where, most likely, you and I will pass our days. If you take inspiration from the pearls [[LinkedIn]]’s [[thought leader]]s and influencers cast before the collective sty, the smart money says, whoever you are, you’re not at the ''good'' end of the talent distribution.

Latest revision as of 14:57, 27 May 2020

Crappy advice you find on LinkedIn


An occasional paean to the empty-headed aspirational gems that gush from from LinkedIn’s wellspring of bunk.
Index: Click to expand:LinkedIn: Your best version... | Your value ... | Inspirational you... | A candle in the wind... | Every boss... | Every journey... | We rise... | We lift you up... | You are dynamite... | Your example... | Game-changers and their aspirants

Comments? Questions? Suggestions? Requests? Insults? We’d love to 📧 hear from you.
Sign up for our newsletter.

Believe this: You are exquisite. You are exceptional. You are limitless.

Really, you aren’t.

You’re limited: However exquisite you may be, you’re definitely not limitless: you have two arms, two legs, a limited concentration span, you can’t multi-task and you’re going to be pushing up daisies before the century is out. Sorry, fella: you have a shelf-life, so make the most of it.

But for many of you already will have made the most of it. Whatever small fame you have acquired yet surpasses your own level of incompetence, and you should be more grateful than your LinkedIn feed suggests you are that no-one who matters has worked this out yet. For most of you, this will be because the fellow best placed to work it out — your line manager — is just as as far past hers as you are past yours.

You’re unexceptional: With “exceptional” we immediately bump up against a definitional bound. Sorry, LinkedIn, there is some bad news: you aren’t all exceptional. You can’t all be an exception. This isn’t our usual bitter contrarianism but simple logic: an exception requires a rule and, odds are, you’re it: your role in the grand cosmic scheme is to sit there, grimly hacking away in the mediocre middle; helping to form a dreary collective yardstick against which better men and women than you can be measured.

And if that’s not sobering enough, at least half of you should be pleased you have made it even into the middle: fully 50% of the exceptional are the exceptionally dim, dull and slow-witted. There, but for the extreme hopelessness of some other poor soul, go you.

You’re not exquisite: Not in a good way, at any rate. The internets tell us that exquisite is means “extremely beautiful and delicate; intensely felt.” Certainly, sensibilities on LinkedIn are uncommonly delicate, we don’t think that’s quite the sense of “exquisite” you had in mind.

The thing about extremes is that they are a comparative minority, and you judge them by their distance from the big dull lump in between. The lump where, most likely, you and I will pass our days. If you take inspiration from the pearls LinkedIn’s thought leaders and influencers cast before the collective sty, the smart money says, whoever you are, you’re not at the good end of the talent distribution.