First Men: Difference between revisions
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[[File:First Men.jpg|450px|thumb|center|None of your namby-pamby [[VM CSA]] arrangements for ''these'' fellas.]] | [[File:First Men.jpg|450px|thumb|center|None of your namby-pamby [[VM CSA]] arrangements for ''these'' fellas.]] | ||
}}The First Men were the survivors of an advanced garrison of “Salomen” mercentary soldiers loosely aligned to the ancient, ruined city of Salomoné who, on a routine patrol of the wild Bretton Woods came across a ruined settlement — evidence of a now-vanished civilisation of child-like faeries — the ''[[Synthæse]]'', or “[[Children of the Forest]]” — who eschewed all earthly rancour, regarded physical settlement of disputes as sinful and instead voluntarily ''exchanged'' their differences in a standardised, non-physical, “synthetic” terms<ref>The greek word ''συντίθημι'', from which is the root of the name ''[[Synthæse]]'', means “to bring together in one place” (from ''συν-'' (“together”) + ''τίθημι'' (“set, place”)).</ref> across a centralised marketplace. | }}The First Men were the survivors of an advanced garrison of “Salomen” mercentary soldiers loosely aligned to the ancient, ruined city of Salomoné who, on a routine patrol of the wild [[Bretton Woods]] came across a ruined settlement — evidence of a now-vanished civilisation of child-like faeries — the ''[[Synthæse]]'', or “[[Children of the Forest]]” — who eschewed all earthly rancour, regarded physical settlement of disputes as sinful and instead voluntarily ''exchanged'' their differences in a standardised, non-physical, “synthetic” terms<ref>The greek word ''συντίθημι'', from which is the root of the name ''[[Synthæse]]'', means “to bring together in one place” (from ''συν-'' (“together”) + ''τίθημι'' (“set, place”)).</ref> across a centralised marketplace. | ||
After the predictable argument, followed by even more predictable drunken hand-to-hand combat in which all but two of the Salomen were killed, these two — the Saxon warlord [[Reg Margin]] and Romanian nobleman [[Oleg Paripasu]] — since remembered as the “[[First Men]]” — suddenly grasped these eternal verities and — isn’t it the way with mortal men? — thoroughly bastardised them. Instead of comparing idealised values plucked from a hypothetical realm of platonic perfection, and cash-settling any differences, the men used their metal tools to offset actual physical loan contracts in different currencies creating this unwieldy machine-age contrivance they called a “[[Sw-æp|swap]]” (originally pronounced “''swæp''”, to rhyme with “crap”). But in doing so, inadvertently, they created the conditions for [[financial weapons of mass destruction]] and, eventually all-out destruction of the capitalist system as we know it. This has not yet happened, to be fair, and while it is foretold, the faithful yet wait, and pray, for some furry little [[future]]s brokers to arrive from nowhere with an army centrally cleared derivatives which may yet save us from ourselves. | After the predictable argument, followed by even more predictable drunken hand-to-hand combat in which all but two of the Salomen were killed, these two — the Saxon warlord [[Reg Margin]] and Romanian nobleman [[Oleg Paripasu]] — since remembered as the “[[First Men]]” — suddenly grasped these eternal verities and — isn’t it the way with mortal men? — thoroughly bastardised them. Instead of comparing idealised values plucked from a hypothetical realm of platonic perfection, and cash-settling any differences, the men used their metal tools to offset actual physical loan contracts in different currencies creating this unwieldy machine-age contrivance they called a “[[Sw-æp|swap]]” (originally pronounced “''swæp''”, to rhyme with “crap”). But in doing so, inadvertently, they created the conditions for [[financial weapons of mass destruction]] and, eventually all-out destruction of the capitalist system as we know it. This has not yet happened, to be fair, and while it is foretold, the faithful yet wait, and pray, for some furry little [[future]]s brokers to arrive from nowhere with an army centrally cleared derivatives which may yet save us from ourselves. | ||
Revision as of 15:59, 19 April 2021
 None of your namby-pamby VM CSA arrangements for these fellas.
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The First Men were the survivors of an advanced garrison of “Salomen” mercentary soldiers loosely aligned to the ancient, ruined city of Salomoné who, on a routine patrol of the wild Bretton Woods came across a ruined settlement — evidence of a now-vanished civilisation of child-like faeries — the Synthæse, or “Children of the Forest” — who eschewed all earthly rancour, regarded physical settlement of disputes as sinful and instead voluntarily exchanged their differences in a standardised, non-physical, “synthetic” terms[1] across a centralised marketplace.
After the predictable argument, followed by even more predictable drunken hand-to-hand combat in which all but two of the Salomen were killed, these two — the Saxon warlord Reg Margin and Romanian nobleman Oleg Paripasu — since remembered as the “First Men” — suddenly grasped these eternal verities and — isn’t it the way with mortal men? — thoroughly bastardised them. Instead of comparing idealised values plucked from a hypothetical realm of platonic perfection, and cash-settling any differences, the men used their metal tools to offset actual physical loan contracts in different currencies creating this unwieldy machine-age contrivance they called a “swap” (originally pronounced “swæp”, to rhyme with “crap”). But in doing so, inadvertently, they created the conditions for financial weapons of mass destruction and, eventually all-out destruction of the capitalist system as we know it. This has not yet happened, to be fair, and while it is foretold, the faithful yet wait, and pray, for some furry little futures brokers to arrive from nowhere with an army centrally cleared derivatives which may yet save us from ourselves.
See also
- Financial weapons of mass destruction
- The Children of the Forest
- The Good Man
- The Dark Lord of the Swaps