Notwithstanding anything to the contrary

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Towards more picturesque speech


The JC’s office Christmas Party, last Christmas.

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One of a number of querulous variations — such as “notwithstanding anything to the contrary in the foregoing”; “notwithstanding anything contained herein to the contrary”; notwithstanding anything to the contrary hereinbefore contained — you get the picture — which would be the legal eagle’s response to the challenge “I bet you can’t come up with a more convoluted way of saying however”, right after he said “HOLD MY BEER”.

As of 2020, the best spotted-in-the-wild, real-life rendition of “however” was this one, courtesy of a punctilious antipodean asset manager:

Notwithstanding anything to the contrary contained in the Agreement or any Schedule, addendum, Confirmation, or other document issued or delivered in connection with any Transaction entered into under this Agreement...

You can just imagine the type of party — all resplendent in flannel shirts, supping Coors lite, comparing tomahawks — in which that passed for entertainment, can’t you.

Sounds rather like the Jolly Contrarian’s office Christmas party, come to think of it.

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