Oleg Paripasu

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The JC’s fictional heroes

Preaching righteous truth with the power of metaphor.

Paripasu (the dishy dark haired-one behind and to the right) with fellow First Man, “Ginger” Reg Margin.

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Oleg Paripasu, it is said, was a royal Romanian prince — born into the Wallachian line, in Bistrița in the high Carpathians.[1]

When he was five years old, Oleg was abducted as he played in neighbouring woodlands by a marauding hoard of Norsemen. They took him away to a life of what was expected to be servitude in the Arctic wastes, but young Oleg was a spirited boy, not destined for slavery. He and the other wildling children would fence with wooden promissory notes under the tutelage of the Berber servant-warrior Uctis the Magnificent. Before long Oleg’s hand-to-hand discounting and factoring techniques were unmatched in the village and has he grew into a handsome young man, he displayed rare skill in all facets of riskless rent-extraction. In time as he grew to be a great warrior himself.

It was Oleg, with his ginger Norse kinsman Reg Margin discovered, in the ruins of an abandoned, ransacked settlement of the Children of the Forest, the long-lost Dierne of Swæp — a mythical, sacred fruity knowledge believed for generations to be lost to the trading peoples of the world forever. Before long this knowledge was unleashed on the world like pandora’s box, and were were in a cold war, every party aremed to the teeth with financial weapons of mass destruction.

See also


  1. Rumoured — never proven — to be, or at least be descended from, legendary Romanian vampire squid Nosferatu, the Dark Lord of the Swaps.