Rubbish maxims: Difference between revisions

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{{a|shitmaxim|}}A love letter to [[LinkedIn]], thought for the day, [[life coach]]es and [[motivation guru]]s everywhere, this is a collection of airheaded aphorisms that sound profound but ooze vacuity. This is not just when that home insurance lawyer tags impenetrable Kierkegaard aphorisms with #quotestoliveby - I mean how ''does'' one live by “life expresses the result of our dominant thoughts?” — what does it even mean, and if it does mean something, won’t it just happen automatically? — but something in more wishful denial of how significance the world in general, and Denise in accounts in particular, attaches to your problems.
{{a|shitmaxim|}}A love letter to [[LinkedIn]], thought for the day, [[life coach]]es and [[motivation guru]]s everywhere, this is a collection of airheaded aphorisms that sound profound but ooze vacuity. This is not just when that home insurance lawyer tags impenetrable Kierkegaard aphorisms with #quotestoliveby - I mean how ''does'' one live by “life expresses the result of our dominant thoughts?” — what does it even mean, and if it does mean something, won’t it just happen automatically? — but something in more wishful denial of how significance the world in general, and Denise in accounts in particular, attaches to your problems.
*{{shitmaxim|Be the best version of yourself}}
*{{shitmaxim|Be the best version of yourself}} — assuming you are possessed of self-awareness and good judgment, which most of you are not.
*{{shitmaxim|Your value does not decrease based on someone else’s inability to see your worth}}
*{{shitmaxim|Your value does not decrease based on someone else’s inability to see your worth}} — except that it does, actually.
*{{shitmaxim|You do not inspire people by showing them how amazing you are, but by showing them how amazing they are}}
*{{shitmaxim|You do not inspire people by showing them how amazing you are, but by showing them how amazing they are}} — but in most cases neither of you will be inspiring anyone.
*{{shitmaxim|Blowing out someone else’s candle won’t make yours burn any brighter}}
*{{shitmaxim|Blowing out someone else’s candle won’t make yours burn any brighter}} — except that’s why they turn the lights out at the cinema.
*{{shitmaxim|Every boss started out as a worker}}
*{{shitmaxim|Every boss started out as a worker}} — as did every deadbeat and every grifter.
*{{shitmaxim|Every journey starts with one step}}
*{{shitmaxim|Every journey starts with one step}} — however pointless it may be.
*{{shitmaxim|We rise by lifting others}}
*{{shitmaxim|We rise ourselves by lifting others}} — you say rise, you mean “subjugate”.
*{{shitmaxim|it takes being let down to appreciate those who lift you up. Being a lifter}} but in this logic it is equally valuable being a putter-downer.
*{{shitmaxim|It takes being let down to appreciate those who lift you up. Be a lifter}} — or, be the one who lets people down and have an equal impact.
*{{shitmaxim|Believe this: You are exquisite. You are exceptional. You are limitless.}}
*{{shitmaxim|Believe this: You are exquisite. You are exceptional. You are limitless.}} — or better still, don’t believe it. Much less scope for injury and disappointment.

Revision as of 16:07, 27 May 2020

Crappy advice you find on LinkedIn


An occasional paean to the empty-headed aspirational gems that gush from from LinkedIn’s wellspring of bunk.
Index: Click to expand:LinkedIn: Your best version... | Your value ... | Inspirational you... | A candle in the wind... | Every boss... | Every journey... | We rise... | We lift you up... | You are dynamite... | Your example... | Game-changers and their aspirants

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A love letter to LinkedIn, thought for the day, life coaches and motivation gurus everywhere, this is a collection of airheaded aphorisms that sound profound but ooze vacuity. This is not just when that home insurance lawyer tags impenetrable Kierkegaard aphorisms with #quotestoliveby - I mean how does one live by “life expresses the result of our dominant thoughts?” — what does it even mean, and if it does mean something, won’t it just happen automatically? — but something in more wishful denial of how significance the world in general, and Denise in accounts in particular, attaches to your problems.