When budget allows: Difference between revisions

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{{a|devil|[[File:Annie.png|450px|thumb|center|Annie, get your gun]]}}{{quote|
{{a|devil|{{image|Annie|png|Annie, get your gun}}}}{{quote|
The sun’ll come out tomorrow <br>  
''The sun’ll come out tomorrow'' <br>  
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow <br>
''Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be sun'' <br>
There’ll be sun <br>
''Just thinkin’ about tomorrow'' <br>
Just thinkin’ about tomorrow <br>
''Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow ’til there’s none'' <br>
Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow <br>
''Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya, tomorrow! —'' <br>
’Til there’s none <br>
''You’re always a day away.'' <br>
<br>
Tomorrow! Tomorrow! <br>
I love ya, tomorrow! — <br>
You’re always a day away. <br>
:— “Tomorrow”, from ''Annie'' (1977)}}
:— “Tomorrow”, from ''Annie'' (1977)}}
“When budget allows” is a mystical, [[hypothetical]] time in the future that, like Little Orphan Annie’s ''Tomorrow'', is always there, dangling tantalisingly in the future, as each day turns, getting no nearer. It is the time when there ''will'' be budget, ''later'', to do an urgent task for which there is no budget ''now''.


Logicians will immediately sense a [[paradox]]. Their suspicions will be confirmed the minute they see the glint in [[middle management]]’s eye, for when it starts gabbling reverently about sorting this all out ''just as soon as budget allows'' — a time they can talk about with confidence and free of regret, while maintaining eye contact with a petitioning [[SME]], assuring her that all will be well.
{{d|When budget allows|/wɛn ˈbʌʤɪt əˈlaʊz/|adv. clause|}}


For if there is not enough interest to shell out for it ''now'', how will it look by the time next month, next quarter, or next fiscal budgeting cycle rolls around?
1. ''(Management)'': Never.  (see also, ''later''; ''domani''; ''mañana''; ''when the lion lies down with the lamb''; ''when monkeys fly out of my butt'', etc.)


It is rather like putting time quarter of an hour in the diary in four weeks time, to discuss something you want to know now.
“[[When budget allows]]” is a [[hypothetical]] time in the future that, like Little Orphan Annie’s ''Tomorrow'', is always there, dangling tantalisingly before us, as each day turns, getting no nearer. It is a sunlit dream-time in which there ''will'' be budget to hook up that feed, build out that [[API]] or invest in that show-stopping [[legaltech]], for which there is no budget ''now''.
 
Logicians will immediately sense a [[paradox]]. If this grand expedition fails to pass muster ''today'', the [[present value]] of the promise to embark upon it at an unknowable point in the henceforth is, surely, smaller still. The aperture constricts the further out we push. What kind of contortion in [[Space-tedium continuum|spacetime]] must we therefore crawl through to reach that happy, iridescent upland?
 
Minds will hardly be put at rest by that glint in the [[middle manager]]’s eye — the unbidden ease with which he issues forth his wooly phrase.
 
Presented with some supplicant’s exhortations, he will, without pause, agree to sort it all out “''just as soon as budget allows''”. This he will volunteer with confidence, ''sans regret'', maintaining eye contact the whole time. He can assure her, in good conscience, that all will, when the appointed time comes, be well. For ''at that time'' — the notional point in the future ''when budget allows'' — is quite unknowable, in the literal sense that ''it will never be known''.
 
The root of the [[paradox]] is this: in a world where the conventional laws of physics hold  —  and, to be sure, there are more times in commerce than you would expect where they do not — if there is not enough interest to shell out for some expenditure ''now'', how will it get any closer to that threshold ''next'' month, ''next'' quarter, or by the time the ''next'' fiscal budgeting cycle rolls around?
 
Rhetorical question.


{{sa}}
{{sa}}
*[[Paradox]]
*[[General systems unit]]
*[[General systems unit]]
*[[Legal tech landscape]]
*[[Legal tech landscape]]
{{c|Paradox}}

Latest revision as of 13:07, 13 March 2023

Annie.png
Annie, get your gun
In which the curmudgeonly old sod puts the world to rights.
Index — Click ᐅ to expand:

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The sun’ll come out tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be sun
Just thinkin’ about tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow ’til there’s none
Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya, tomorrow! —
You’re always a day away.

— “Tomorrow”, from Annie (1977)

When budget allows
/wɛn ˈbʌʤɪt əˈlaʊz/ (adv. clause.)

1. (Management): Never. (see also, later; domani; mañana; when the lion lies down with the lamb; when monkeys fly out of my butt, etc.)

When budget allows” is a hypothetical time in the future that, like Little Orphan Annie’s Tomorrow, is always there, dangling tantalisingly before us, as each day turns, getting no nearer. It is a sunlit dream-time in which there will be budget to hook up that feed, build out that API or invest in that show-stopping legaltech, for which there is no budget now.

Logicians will immediately sense a paradox. If this grand expedition fails to pass muster today, the present value of the promise to embark upon it at an unknowable point in the henceforth is, surely, smaller still. The aperture constricts the further out we push. What kind of contortion in spacetime must we therefore crawl through to reach that happy, iridescent upland?

Minds will hardly be put at rest by that glint in the middle manager’s eye — the unbidden ease with which he issues forth his wooly phrase.

Presented with some supplicant’s exhortations, he will, without pause, agree to sort it all out “just as soon as budget allows”. This he will volunteer with confidence, sans regret, maintaining eye contact the whole time. He can assure her, in good conscience, that all will, when the appointed time comes, be well. For at that time — the notional point in the future when budget allows — is quite unknowable, in the literal sense that it will never be known.

The root of the paradox is this: in a world where the conventional laws of physics hold — and, to be sure, there are more times in commerce than you would expect where they do not — if there is not enough interest to shell out for some expenditure now, how will it get any closer to that threshold next month, next quarter, or by the time the next fiscal budgeting cycle rolls around?

Rhetorical question.

See also