Hyperbolic language

A hearty collection of the JC’s pithiest adages.

Index: Click ᐅ to expand: Maxim

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As a general heuristic, hyperbolic language is a sign of weakness, not strength. It is the huff and puff of someone without the wherewithal to blow your house down. Anyone seriously contemplating blowing your house down There are two varieties of this:

The convoluted, veiled threat of legal action. For example:

This is our final reminder regarding [stipulate some minuscule infringement IP rights or some such thing]. Despite our previous correspondence, this matter remains unresolved, and it’s imperative that you address it immediately. If you do not address this issue now we will escalate this matter to our legal team to evaluate litigation options.
Your continued inaction on this pressing issue is concerning. Let us once again be clear: If this infringement is not addressed promptly, this could lead to legal action, which would undoubtedly result in considerably higher costs for you.

There is scarcely a weaker threat imaginable than talking to your inhouse legal team.

Compare with this:

In the Contrarian’s Bench Division

H & A COBBLERS & SONS, LTD.
Claimant
ERNEST SHUBTILL
Defendant
NOTICE OF PROCEEDINGYou are hereby notified that an action has been filed against you ...

This, by contrast, is definitely something you should pay attention to.

The other is the “well, look who got a thesaurus for Christmas” approach whereby writing the letter you imagine lawyers write somehow increases its gravitas, while actually doing the opposite.

The contractual provision explicitly delineates our prevailing obligation and your endeavour to construe said obligation otherwise is patently misconceived and without any legal basis whatsoever, and we vehemently repudiate any imputation of opacity of lack of transparency howsoever implied or described on our dealings and is deemed defamatory and actionable accordingly... [carries on for 94 pages]

The more outraged the tone in your letter, the surer you can be that its sender has no better strategy available than to write you an angry letter.