Project manager

From The Jolly Contrarian
Jump to navigation Jump to search
People Anatomy™
A spotter’s guide to the men and women of finance.
It all seemed so easy
Index: Click to expand:

Comments? Questions? Suggestions? Requests? Insults? We’d love to 📧 hear from you.
Sign up for our newsletter.

A fellow who knows the price of nothing and the value of nothing. A fan of the Gantt chart, and of being elsewhere when the shit of his delusional speculations as to the project’s critical path hits, as it inevitably will, the fan of intractable, stubborn reality. This aspiration is made harder because the unlike the real management consultant he forlornly aspires to be, a project manager tends to be directly contracted to or even employed by his host, and has fewer obstacles behind which he can hide (such has his brand) and no doors out which he can painlessly exit.

Often he has nowhere to turn should things turn properly surreal and is, therefore, apt to develop great skill at dissembling, delegation and survival and, weirdly, bullshit detection. A fellow bullshitter further up your management chain is gold dust: he (it usually is a he) is the one with whom your incoherent excuses have the best chance of sticking.

See also