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The Armourer: An Opco Boone Adventure: Difference between revisions

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The Armourer: An Opco Boone Adventure (view source)

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“What? Give that here.” The Precedent Commander scowled. It aggrieved him to see this undirected, crackling energy.   
“What? Give that here.” The Precedent Commander scowled. It aggrieved him to see this undirected, crackling energy.   


Barberazza tossed over the piece. Hare inspected it. The workmanship was rough, but sound. It was put together with a young man’s vigour. The structure was sturdy: the defs were true — zilch redundancies. The cross-refs dovetailed — xml field-embedded, auto-updating. The multi-level numbering was rudimentary but true. Hare lined up the counterpart assembly and took a sighter. Straight. Clean.  
E. J. tossed over the piece. Hare inspected it. The workmanship was rough, but sound. It was put together with a young man’s vigour. The structure was sturdy: the defs were true — zilch redundancies. The cross-refs dovetailed — xml field-embedded, auto-updating. The multi-level numbering was rudimentary but true. Hare lined up the counterpart assembly and took a sighter. Straight. Clean.  


“Yeah, that’s not bad, but there’s not a lot that can go wrong on a [[Calculation agent|calc agent]] appointment [[side letter]]. You got a bit to learn yet, lad.”
“Yeah, that’s not bad, but there’s not a lot that can go wrong on a [[Calculation agent|calc agent]] appointment [[side letter]]. You got a bit to learn yet, lad.”
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Hare glowered.
Hare glowered.


Barberazza smiled back at him. “Gimme another one, sir. We got a lot to get through. The Eagle Squad needs these at the front line”
E. J. smiled back at him. “Gimme another one, sir. We got a lot to get through. The Eagle Squad needs these at the front line”


Hare snorted. “Meh. Take your time kid. Those peashooters don’t need nothing.” He thought for a moment, then brightened. “Oh, this bump-stock is off-balance. Lad, would you be a star and fetch me a weight?”
Hare snorted. “Meh. Take your time kid. Those peashooters don’t need nothing.” He thought for a moment, then brightened. “Oh, this bump-stock is off-balance. Lad, would you be a star and fetch me a weight?”
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“Commander Burke can show you. He runs the counter in the precedent depot.”
“Commander Burke can show you. He runs the counter in the precedent depot.”


The precedent depot was a caged area recessed and towards the back of the warehouse. As Barberazza entered he ran his hand along the rail. A patina of dust lifted. ''Busy down here much?'' Barberazza got to the counter. He pinged the bell. An elderly man in a yellow cap shuffled into the booth, expectorating into a soft commitment. He set down a cigarette. His eyes were red-rimmed but kind. He smiled, pleased of the visit.
The precedent depot was a caged area recessed and towards the back of the warehouse. As E. J. entered he ran his hand along the rail. A patina of dust lifted. ''Busy down here much?'' E. J. got to the counter. He pinged the bell. An elderly man in a yellow cap shuffled into the booth, expectorating into a soft commitment. He set down a cigarette. His eyes were red-rimmed but kind. He smiled, pleased of the visit.


“Sorry about that — I was, ah, distracted for a minute. Now, young man. How can I help you today?”
“Sorry about that — I was, ah, distracted for a minute. Now, young man. How can I help you today?”
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The boy fumbled with credentials he knew would not pass muster.
The boy fumbled with credentials he knew would not pass muster.


“Eagle Cadet E.J. Barberazza,” the old man intoned, inspecting it carefully. He sighed. “So ''you’re'' this famous Barberazza fellow.” Burke studied the boy carefully. “Well: rules is rules: there’s no access with this, I’m afraid, young man.”
“Eagle Cadet E.J. E. J.,” the old man intoned, inspecting it carefully. He sighed. “So ''you’re'' this famous E. J. fellow.” Burke studied the boy carefully. “Well: rules is rules: there’s no access with this, I’m afraid, young man.”


The boy looked worried. “But Commander Hare sent me here for — wait: what do you mean, ‘famous’?”  
The boy looked worried. “But Commander Hare sent me here for — wait: what do you mean, ‘famous’?”  
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“All right, lad. In you go. The waits are stored at the far end of the boilerplate stacks. Head down to row five, column eight. I’ll be down presently. And don't touch anything.”
“All right, lad. In you go. The waits are stored at the far end of the boilerplate stacks. Head down to row five, column eight. I’ll be down presently. And don't touch anything.”


Barberazza navigated the boilerplate, running his gloved finger across the dusty spines. It was all here: all the ineffable, intricate, technical engineering and wiring schematics they contained. This was the articulated history of the Eagle Squad’s exploits — all the derring do; all the struggles; all the pear-shaped hulks and wrecked prospectuses. Every aspect: third party rights, representations, warranties, covenants, conditions precedent, conditions subsequent, waivers, notices, assignments, governing law, non-exclusive jurisdiction, exclusive jurisdiction, sovereign immunity, process agency, and protocols, organised by [[trade association]] and cross checked by regulatory regime.  
E. J. navigated the boilerplate, running his gloved finger across the dusty spines. It was all here: all the ineffable, intricate, technical engineering and wiring schematics they contained. This was the articulated history of the Eagle Squad’s exploits — all the derring do; all the struggles; all the pear-shaped hulks and wrecked prospectuses. Every aspect: third party rights, representations, warranties, covenants, conditions precedent, conditions subsequent, waivers, notices, assignments, governing law, non-exclusive jurisdiction, exclusive jurisdiction, sovereign immunity, process agency, and protocols, organised by [[trade association]] and cross checked by regulatory regime.  


There were shelves and shelves of them, all housed on ancient mahogany. He hit the ISDA stack and the boy stared in awestruck wonder at the ancient wisdom they contained. There is was: the motherlode: the [[1985 ISDA Code of Standard Wording, Assumptions and Provisions for Swaps|1985 Code]]. The [[1987 ISDA Interest Rate and Currency Exchange Agreement|’87]]. The [[1992 ISDA Master Agreement|’92]]. The [[2002 ISDA Master Agreement|’02]], and even a prototype [[2008 ISDA Master Agreement|2008]], still in its shrink-wrap, never used. And every conflict, every situation, every skirmish, every desperate last stand in furtherance of those sacred testaments that the [[Eagle Squad]] heroes had ever mounted. User guides, tax addenda, elections schedules, bail-in protocols, master confirms, closing agendas, global securities — ''everything''. Work manuals to deal with every situation.  
There were shelves and shelves of them, all housed on ancient mahogany. He hit the ISDA stack and the boy stared in awestruck wonder at the ancient wisdom they contained. There is was: the motherlode: the [[1985 ISDA Code of Standard Wording, Assumptions and Provisions for Swaps|1985 Code]]. The [[1987 ISDA Interest Rate and Currency Exchange Agreement|’87]]. The [[1992 ISDA Master Agreement|’92]]. The [[2002 ISDA Master Agreement|’02]], and even a prototype [[2008 ISDA Master Agreement|2008]], still in its shrink-wrap, never used. And every conflict, every situation, every skirmish, every desperate last stand in furtherance of those sacred testaments that the [[Eagle Squad]] heroes had ever mounted. User guides, tax addenda, elections schedules, bail-in protocols, master confirms, closing agendas, global securities — ''everything''. Work manuals to deal with every situation.  
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“''Wait a minute''! Could there be —” he said out loud, but before he finished the thought, he was racing down the aisle. The stack was alphabetical, by topic. He let his fingers do the walking. “[[BIPRU]] ... [[BIS]] ...[[Bid-ask]] ...[[bifurcation]] ... [[big data]] ... ''[[Biggs constant|Biggs]]''”
“''Wait a minute''! Could there be —” he said out loud, but before he finished the thought, he was racing down the aisle. The stack was alphabetical, by topic. He let his fingers do the walking. “[[BIPRU]] ... [[BIS]] ...[[Bid-ask]] ...[[bifurcation]] ... [[big data]] ... ''[[Biggs constant|Biggs]]''”


''There it was''. He pulled the file. The volume was dry and worn away at the edges. The spine was cracked. He carefully leafed back through the pages — 1999, 1998, 1997 ... August, July, June — but then thought, ''no''. He closed the book, balanced it on this palm. As the legal commentaries predicted, it split by itself and fell open at page 532. Barberazza regarded it: a yellowed, waxen page, pinned in the corner. On it, smudged, faded pixels. He could just make out the underlying, double-faxed text.
''There it was''. He pulled the file. The volume was dry and worn away at the edges. The spine was cracked. He carefully leafed back through the pages — 1999, 1998, 1997 ... August, July, June — but then thought, ''no. Let’s do this properly. The way it is meant to be done''. He closed the book, balanced it on this palm. As the august legal commentaries of his apprenticeship had predicted it would, the volume, so beloved of Eagle Cadets over the ages, fell open at page 532. E. J. regarded it: a yellowed, waxen page, pinned in the corner. On it, smudged, faded pixels. He could just make out the underlying, double-faxed text.


}}{{quote|THIS LEGEND SHALL CEASE TO APPLY UPON THE EXPIRY OF THE PERIOD OF 40 DAYS AFTER THE COMPLETION OF THE DISTRIBUTION OF ALL THE SECURITIES OF THE TRANCHE OF WHICH THIS SECURITY FORMS PART.}}{{indent|
}}{{quote|THIS LEGEND SHALL CEASE TO APPLY UPON THE EXPIRY OF THE PERIOD OF 40 DAYS AFTER THE COMPLETION OF THE DISTRIBUTION OF ALL THE SECURITIES OF THE TRANCHE OF WHICH THIS SECURITY FORMS PART.}}{{indent|


And there is was, a single-faxed manuscript, ringing the final full stop, leading to a little balloon in the margin, in which the worlds were scrawled: “not bold”.
And there is was, that famous, single-faxed manuscript, ringing the final full stop, a spidery line leading to a little balloon in the margin in which, rendered in a neat cursive, the words, “not bold” appeared.


“Whoa,” Barberazza breathed. “The [[Biggs hoson|Biggs Hoson]]. The very first.”
“Whoa,” E. J. breathed. “The original [[Biggs hoson|Biggs Hoson]] itself.” There it was: that famous, emboldened period: the tiny, microscopic, indivisible unit of legal markup. E. J. just stood there and took it in, in its iconic, finical exactitude. So ''stark''. So ''simple''. So ''elegant''. So ''pure'', in its absolute, utter, limit-attaining pedantry.  E. J. whispered: “None smaller. None more pure. None more pedantic.”
}}
}}
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