Deltaview Force: An Opco Boone Adventure: Difference between revisions

Deltaview Force: An Opco Boone Adventure (view source)

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 [[A.J.]] prodded it with his piece. He scoped the back. It was blobbed, de-blobbed and annotated in tight black cursive.
-“Football Team checks out, sir.”
+“Football Team checks out, sir.” [[A.J.]] eyeballed the kid. “This is strong work.”
 “Entity?”
-“National Association.”
+“N. A., stops correct.”
 “Branch?”
-“London. Acting by and on behalf of, not through through. Punctuation correct.”
+“London. Acting by and on behalf of, not through through. Punctuation clear.”
 “I ''told'' you, man. I’m on the level.” The kid shifted awkwardly and groped at a nearby keyboard.
-Punchface freaked. “Freeze!”
+Punchface freaked & squeaked. “Freeze!”
-“Chill, man. I'm late on [[CBT]]. If I don’t finish on time they will know something’s wrong.”
+The squid kid was fly. “Chill, man. I'm just late on [[CBT]], is all. If I don’t finish on time they will know.”
-Boone said, “Stand down, Roly.” He looked at the kid. “''Who'' will?”
+Boone said, “Stand down, Roly.” Boone looked at the kid. “''Who'' will?”
-“Wickliffe Compliance goons. They monitor by the keystroke. I’m on their shit-list already. I missed the [[occupational safety and health|OSH]] module.”
+“Compliance goons. They monitor by the keystroke. I’m on their shit-list already. I missed the [[occupational safety and health|OSH]] module last week.”
-Boone did not want a Wickliffe compliance detail sweeping the building right now.
+Boone did not need a gang of Wickliffe compliance heavies sweeping the building right now. He knew it. The kid knew it. The kid knew he knew the kid knew it.
-“Gimme a look at that.”
+Boone nodded at the screen. “Gimme a look at that.”
-Kid twisted the screen up to Boone’s eyeline. It was an Wang terminal fitted with a diffuser. A smorgasbord of [[character user interface|CUI]] courier orange swam into view.
+Kid twisted the screen up to Boone’s eyeline. It was a Wang terminal. It came standard with a warm glow and a diffuser. A smorgasbord of [[character user interface|CUI]] courier orange swam into view.
-Boone alt-tabbed for Leisure Suit Larry. No dice. The kid’s story checked out. He tabbed back and scanned the screen. A corner-mounted timer counted down. Four minutes and counting.
+Boone alt-tabbed for signs of Leisure Suit Larry. No dice. The kid’s story checked out. He tabbed back and scanned the screen. A corner-mounted timer counted down. ''Four minutes and falling''.
 “What's that?”
-That's the goddamn deadline counter. These dudes are serious. I’ve been pulling all nighters on this goddam [[CDO]] so I’m late again. I gotta get this done or my ass I'd toast.
+That's the goddamn deadline counter. These dudes are serious. I’ve been pulling all nighters on this goddam [[CDO]], so I’m late again. I gotta get this done or my ass is toast.
 “Okay. It’s D.”
@@ Line 222: / Line 222: @@
 “The answer. It’s D.  “All of the above”.”
-“Oh, right. Sweet.” The kid clacked his keyboard. He hit return. The Wang went blank. The hourglass flipped. The count-down ticked. Thirty seconds to go.
+“Oh, right. Sweet.” The kid clacked keys and hit return. The Wang went blank.
-“Come on —”
+The hourglass flipped.
+The count-down ticked. Thirty seconds to go.
+“Come ''on'' —”
 The hour-glass flipped. Twenty five seconds.
-A compliance squad automated reminder popped up. It threatened disciplinary.
+A compliance squad automated reminder popped up. It threatened disciplinary. It threatened ''inter''disciplinary.
 Punchface squealed. “Let’s wax him and get out of here, Boone.”
-“We do not have control room clearance, Roly.”
+“We do not have [[control room]] clearance, Roly.”
 “But the place is going to blow!”
@@ Line 238: / Line 242: @@
 “Wait.”
-The counter ticked down to 5. The Wang honked and squawked and flashed red.
+The counter ticked down. It got to 10. [[A.J.]] gulped. The Wang honked and squawked and flashed apocalyptic red.
+The counter hit 5.
-The screen came up. The machine beeped & glowed. The printer started chattering.
+The screen came up. The machine beeped & glowed. A nearby printer started chattering. The alarm died. The code red light show subsided. The lights came up.
-Squid kid pulled a readout off the dot matrix. The alarm died. The code red light show subsided. The lights came up.
+The collective de-stressed.
-The kid scanned the readout. He grinned. “Nailed it. Eighty percent. I’m clear. Any more was wasted effort.”
+Squid kid pulled a readout off the dot matrix. He scanned the readout. He grinned. “''Nailed'' it. Eighty percent. I’m clear. Any more was wasted effort.”
-The comlink crackled. “Boone, this is control room. The wall is active. Code word: Protect Viper. You may proceed.”
+The comlink crackled. “Boone, this is control room. The wall is active. Code word: Project Viper. OneNDA protocol affirmative. You may proceed.”
 Boone opened up the comlink on back to base. “He's pretty far gone, Aggie. I think it’s stale. But he's packing a red herring. Take no chances.”
+The squid kid said,  “I teach you the Superman.” he clawed back the pitch book.
-“The future.”
 A.J. tried to grab it but the squid hung on tight. He pulled it to his heart. It was fat, typeset small, laid out on custom narrow margins and US letter.