Litigationey: Difference between revisions

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These fictions are ''loosely'' based on true stories — they are well-''meant'' — but in their dramatic sweep they oblige practitioners to ''dissemble'' — to affect silly walks, use secret handshakes and invent elliptical ways of describing mundane things, all in the service of ''not uttering inconvenient realities''.  
These fictions are ''loosely'' based on true stories — they are well-''meant'' — but in their dramatic sweep they oblige practitioners to ''dissemble'' — to affect silly walks, use secret handshakes and invent elliptical ways of describing mundane things, all in the service of ''not uttering inconvenient realities''.  


Of course, the same circumlocution that foxes a taxman can bamboozle a judge.
Of course, the same circumlocution that foxes the taxman can bamboozle a judge.


Thus, over time workaday documents become [[squabblative]] because, while the [[legal eagle|practitioners]] who propagate them are well-drilled, fluent in these language games and strongly incentivised to maintain the theatre, those who come to them cold — who often hail from the foreign climes of [[Litigation|litigation department]], [[King’s Counsel|bar]] or [[King’s Bench Division|bench]] — are not.
Thus over time, workaday documents become [[squabblative]] because, while the [[legal eagle|practitioners]] who propagate them are well-drilled, fluent in these arcane language games and strongly incentivised to maintain the theatre, those who come to them cold — who often hail from the foreign climes of [[Litigation|litigation department]], [[King’s Counsel|bar]] or [[King’s Bench Division|bench]] — are not.


We have remarked before about the differing [[purpose|functions]] a [[contract]] has during its life. [[Sales]], [[operations]], [[legal]] and [[trading]] — each has its own priorities and private agendas. In peacetime all is well, each has her nibble on the biscuit, passes it on, and eventually the contract winds up signed, filed in a database somewhere and gratefully disregarded. No-one will need to look at it again, short of disaster.  
We have remarked before about the differing [[purpose|functions]] a [[contract]] has during its life. [[Sales]], [[operations]], [[legal]] and [[trading]] — each has its own priorities and private agendas. In peacetime all is well, each has her nibble on the biscuit, passes it on, and eventually the contract winds up signed, filed in a database somewhere and gratefully disregarded. No-one will need to look at it again, short of disaster.  


When such a disaster arrives — heaven forfend — the document is exhumed, dusted off and passed to a new constituency who have never seen it before and have little grasp of the etiquette which is meant to accompany its construction:  litigators. These agents have yet another [[purpose]] and agenda: ''to wreak havoc''. If given half a chance, they will deny utterly the tacit accommodations their commercial cousins made to each other short days ago when the aim of compliant, tax efficient consensus was mutual.   
When such a disaster arrives — heaven forfend — the document is exhumed, dusted off and passed to a new constituency who have never seen it before and have little grasp of the etiquette which is meant to accompany its construction:  litigators. These [[agent|agents]] have yet another [[purpose]] and agenda: ''to wreak havoc''. If given half a chance, they will deny utterly the tacit accommodations their commercial cousins made to each other short days ago when the aim of compliant, tax efficient consensus was mutual.   


Why anyone would commend her commercial soul to the hands of those who sit upon, or stand before, the King’s Bench is a question best not pondered.  
Why anyone would commend her commercial soul to the hands of those who sit upon, or stand before, the King’s Bench is a question best not pondered.  


ISDAs come before the courts one at a time. They are exotic specimens, rather like those ghost orchids: retrieved at personal cost from the depths of a sweaty tropical swamp and prone to cause hallucinations among people not ready for them. Such as High Court judges.
ISDAs come before the courts one at a time. They are exotic specimens, rather like those ghost orchids: retrieved at personal cost from the depths of a sweaty tropical swamp and prone to cause hallucinations among people not ready for them.


Litigation about them is fraught: Rarely do those who argue these cases have any practical sense of what they are or how they work; those adjudicating them certainly don’t.<ref>{{Casenote|Marine Trade|Pioneer}} is a great example. The outcome — fortunately now overruled — is just patently absurd to anyone who has spend a week in the derivatives business.</ref>
Litigation about them is therefore fraught: Rarely do those who argue these cases have any practical sense of what they are or how they work; those adjudicating them certainly don’t.<ref>{{Casenote|Marine Trade|Pioneer}} is a great example. The outcome — fortunately now overruled — is just patently absurd to anyone who has spent a week in the derivatives business.</ref>


And here {{icds}}’s vernacular plays into the hands of caprice and obstrepereity. That [[Squadsman|squaddish]] left-handedness ''cries out'' to be misunderstood. To ask a non-specialist parse a [[flawed asset]] clause,<ref>{{casenote|Metavante|Lehman}}</ref> an {{cddprov|Event Determination Date}}, or even the {{isdaprov|Notices}} provisions of an {{isdama}}<ref>{{casenote|Greenclose|National Westminster Bank plc}}</ref> is to pave the road to confounded disappointment.  
And here {{icds}}’s vernacular plays into the hands of caprice and obstrepereity. That [[Squadsman|squaddish]] left-handedness ''cries out'' to be misunderstood. To ask a non-specialist parse a [[flawed asset]] clause,<ref>{{casenote|Metavante|Lehman}}</ref> an {{cddprov|Event Determination Date}}, or even the {{isdaprov|Notices}} provisions of an {{isdama}}<ref>{{casenote|Greenclose|National Westminster Bank plc}}</ref> is to pave the road to confounded disappointment.