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=== Launch === | === Launch === | ||
The C-SPAC will launch by | The C-SPAC will launch by initial token offering. Because it is crypto, it is a bit different to a normal [[SPAC]]. ''Better.'' | ||
Instead of buying stupid old trad-fi shares in a trad-fi company, the [[C-SPAC]] will acquire [[non-fungible token]]<nowiki/>s ''representing'', but not conferring any trad-fi rights to, shares in a crypto company. To counter criticisms of [[SPAC]]<nowiki/>s being some kind of opaque, trad-fi lucky dip, [[cryptöagle]] has pre-designated the crypto company whose shares it is going to tokenise: | Instead of buying stupid old trad-fi shares in a trad-fi company, the [[C-SPAC]] will acquire [[non-fungible token]]<nowiki/>s ''representing'', but not conferring any trad-fi rights to, shares in a crypto company. To counter criticisms of [[SPAC]]<nowiki/>s being some kind of opaque, trad-fi lucky dip, [[cryptöagle]] has pre-designated the crypto company whose shares it is going to tokenise: ''itself''. This assures total transparency from the outset: investors will literally be able to see right through this offering. | ||
=== Subscription === | === Subscription === | ||
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[[jollycoin|Jollycoin]]s will confer no [[Ownership|legal ownership]], of for that matter any other rights, title or interest, in the [[cryptöagle]] shares. | [[jollycoin|Jollycoin]]s will confer no [[Ownership|legal ownership]], of for that matter any other rights, title or interest, in the [[cryptöagle]] shares. | ||
Recognising that this may seem sub-optimal to less credulous potential investors, to ensure the primacy of the on-chain investment, once the [[jollycoin]]s have been minted, the [[C-SPAC]] promoters have resolved to ceremonially ''pre''-destroy all | Recognising that this may seem sub-optimal to less credulous potential investors, to ensure the primacy of the on-chain investment, once the [[jollycoin]]s have been minted, the [[C-SPAC]] promoters have resolved to ceremonially ''pre''-destroy all [[cryptöagle]]’s shares as a [[condition precedent]] to subscription in the tokens. | ||
This will be achieved by the novel legal technique of ''[[constructive]]'' corporate liquidation: rather than incorporating and then removing [[cryptöagle]] from the Companies Register, the [[C-SPAC]] promoters ''not even incorporate the company in the first place'', thereby ensuring a total, unhackable air-gap with reality. Thus isolated from any grip earthly logic, [[jollycoin]]s will have no taint, discolouration or other unpleasant residue of [[trad-fi]], the [[offworld]] physical economy or any other reality, personal truth or lived experience. They will instead have independent aesthetic existence as virtual artworks, embedded for all time and all purposes, in a [[blockchain]] where they can represent, final, pure, abstract, platonic form of [[Cryptobabble|crypto-value]]. | This will be achieved by the novel legal technique of ''[[constructive]]'' corporate liquidation: rather than incorporating and then removing [[cryptöagle]] from the Companies Register, the [[C-SPAC]] promoters ''not even incorporate the company in the first place'', thereby ensuring a total, unhackable air-gap with reality. Thus isolated from any grip earthly logic, [[jollycoin]]s will have no taint, discolouration or other unpleasant residue of [[trad-fi]], the [[offworld]] physical economy or any other reality, personal truth or lived experience. They will instead have independent aesthetic existence as virtual artworks, embedded for all time and all purposes, in a [[blockchain]] where they can represent, final, pure, abstract, platonic form of [[Cryptobabble|crypto-value]]. | ||
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Not referencing anything whatsoever, not backed by anything, neither explained, defended, justified or needed by anyone or anything, they will untethered from our mortal physical coil so they can float free to drift towards the moon. | Not referencing anything whatsoever, not backed by anything, neither explained, defended, justified or needed by anyone or anything, they will untethered from our mortal physical coil so they can float free to drift towards the moon. | ||
C-CEO Cass Mälstrom said | C-CEO [[Cass Mälstrom]] said, “By avoiding even creating the physical [[shares]] in the first place, and only having the [[jollycoin]]s representing the ''idea'' of incorporating the [[C-SPAC]] shares, we can ensure that, due to the [[smart contract]] ability of the [[blockchain]], the unalterable [[jollycoin]] tokens are the only representation of the share that exists in the [[onworld]] or the [[offworld]]. By doing this, the value of the [[share]]s will then be moved onto the [[NFT]].” | ||
===Branding remix=== | ===Branding remix=== | ||
The [[C-SPAC]] has already undergone a bewildering number of branding changes, and it is less than a day old. The “[[Soaring Legal Eagle Acquisition Crypto Corporation]]” became [[Crypto-Eagle]], which folded down to its present iteration Cryptöagle, and there is talk of a further move to “[[Cryptoegal]]” — see what we did there? — which by logical extension becomes [[Cryptögal]], which sounds like a Marvel superhero, and therefore, sod it, because we ''are'' a rock band, [[Crÿptögäl]]. We are all about change management at {{cryptoeagle}}. | The [[C-SPAC]] has already undergone a bewildering number of branding changes, and it is less than a day old. The “[[Soaring Legal Eagle Acquisition Crypto Corporation]]” became [[Crypto-Eagle]], which folded down to its present iteration Cryptöagle, and there is talk of a further move to “[[Cryptoegal]]” — see what we did there? — which by logical extension becomes [[Cryptögal]], which sounds like a Marvel superhero, and therefore, sod it, because we ''are'' a rock band, [[Crÿptögäl]].<ref>context: “I’ll have four billion. I mean eight billion. Actually sixteen billion. Sod it, we’re a rock band: make it a hundred billion.” | ||
<Youtube>https://youtu.be/6WmiBz1fpwc</youtube></ref> We are all about change management at {{cryptoeagle}}. | |||
===Sign of our times=== | |||
It is a sign of our times that I should even have to say this, readers, but Dogecoin — also a joke — achieved a market cap at its peak of $90,000,000,000 and, well, [[Sam Bankman-Fried]]. So, for the record and lest anyone be tempted: ''this is a joke''. | |||
I bet some bastard is now going to actually do this and make a squillion dollars. That would be just my luck. | |||
{{sa}} | {{sa}} | ||
*[[Lexrifyly]] | |||
*[[Non-fungible token]] | |||
{{Ref}} | |||
{{c|Mythology}} | |||