Cryptöagle: Difference between revisions

Instead of buying stupid old trad-fi shares in a trad-fi company, the [[C-SPAC]] will acquire [[non-fungible token]]<nowiki/>s ''representing'', but not conferring any trad-fi rights to, shares in a crypto company. To counter criticisms of [[SPAC]]<nowiki/>s being some kind of opaque, trad-fi lucky dip, [[cryptöagle]] has pre-designated the crypto company whose shares it is going to tokenise: ''itself''. This assures total transparency from the outset: investors will literally be able to see right through this offering.  

C-CEO [[Cass Mälstrom]] said “By avoiding even creating the physical [[shares]] in the first place, and only having the [[jollycoin]]s representing the ''idea'' of incorporating the [[C-SPAC]] shares, we can ensure that, due to the [[smart contract]] ability of the [[blockchain]], the unalterable [[jollycoin]] tokens are the only representation of the share that exists in the [[onworld]] or the [[offworld]]. By doing this, the value of the [[share]]s will then be moved onto the [[NFT]].”

The [[C-SPAC]] has already undergone a bewildering number of branding changes, and it is less than a day old. The “[[Soaring Legal Eagle Acquisition Crypto Corporation]]” became [[Crypto-Eagle]], which folded down to its present iteration Cryptöagle, and there is talk of a further move to “[[Cryptoegal]]” — see what we did there? — which by logical extension becomes [[Cryptögal]], which sounds like a Marvel superhero, and therefore, sod it, because we ''are'' a rock band, [[Crÿptögäl]].<ref>context: “I’ll have four billion. Make it eight billion. Actually sixteen billion. Sod it, we’re a rock band: let's make it a hundred billion”

It is a sign of our times that I should even have to say this, readers, but Dogecoin — also a joke — achieved a market cap at its peak of $90,000,000,000, and well [[Sam Bankman-Fried]]. So, for the record and lest anyone be tempted: ''this is a joke''.