Cryptöagle: Difference between revisions
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{{a|crypto|{{image|cryptoagle|png|After a hurried rebranding to take advantage of the umlaut}}}}[[Cryptöagle]] is a [[special purpose acquisition crypto corporation]], or “[[Crypto-SPAC]]” founded as a division of the [[Lexrifyly]] group the [[JC]]’s [[legaltech]] division that he {{strike|made up|spun off}} in 2022. | {{a|crypto|{{image|cryptoagle|png|After a hurried rebranding to take advantage of the umlaut}}}}[[Cryptöagle]] is a [[special purpose acquisition crypto corporation]], or “[[Crypto-SPAC]]” founded as a division of the [[Lexrifyly]] group, the [[JC]]’s mammoth [[legaltech]] division that he {{strike|made up|spun off}} in 2022. | ||
The | === Launch === | ||
The C-SPAC will launch by [[initial token offering]]. Because it is crypto, it is a bit different to a normal [[SPAC]]. ''Better.'' | |||
Instead of buying stupid old trad-fi shares in a trad-fi company, the [[C-SPAC]] will acquire [[non-fungible token]]<nowiki/>s ''representing'', but not conferring any trad-fi rights to, shares in a crypto company. To counter criticisms of [[SPAC]]<nowiki/>s being some kind of opaque, trad-fi lucky dip, [[cryptöagle]] has pre-designated the crypto company whose shares it is going to tokenise: ''itself''. This assures total transparency from the outset: investors will literally be able to see right through this offering. | |||
Not referencing anything whatsoever, not backed by anything, neither explained, defended, justified or needed by anyone or anything, they | === Subscription === | ||
All funds raised (in USD in used, unmarked, low-denomination notes in brown paper bags, please) will be used to mint and then acquire [[non-fungible token]]s — “[[jollycoin]]s” — which will be [[deemed]] to be [[an amount equal to]] an artistic representation of [[cryptöagle]]’s own shares, which will initially be represented by ordinary shares of a limited liability company. | |||
=== Anticipatory crypto-purification === | |||
[[jollycoin|Jollycoin]]s will confer no [[Ownership|legal ownership]], of for that matter any other rights, title or interest, in the [[cryptöagle]] shares. | |||
Recognising that this may seem sub-optimal to less credulous potential investors, to ensure the primacy of the on-chain investment, once the [[jollycoin]]s have been minted, the [[C-SPAC]] promoters have resolved to ceremonially ''pre''-destroy all [[cryptöagle]]’s shares as a [[condition precedent]] to subscription in the tokens. | |||
This will be achieved by the novel legal technique of ''[[constructive]]'' corporate liquidation: rather than incorporating and then removing [[cryptöagle]] from the Companies Register, the [[C-SPAC]] promoters ''not even incorporate the company in the first place'', thereby ensuring a total, unhackable air-gap with reality. Thus isolated from any grip earthly logic, [[jollycoin]]s will have no taint, discolouration or other unpleasant residue of [[trad-fi]], the [[offworld]] physical economy or any other reality, personal truth or lived experience. They will instead have independent aesthetic existence as virtual artworks, embedded for all time and all purposes, in a [[blockchain]] where they can represent, final, pure, abstract, platonic form of [[Cryptobabble|crypto-value]]. | |||
Not referencing anything whatsoever, not backed by anything, neither explained, defended, justified or needed by anyone or anything, they will untethered from our mortal physical coil so they can float free to drift towards the moon. | |||
C-CEO Cass Mälstrom said: | C-CEO Cass Mälstrom said: | ||
{{quote|“By | {{quote|“By avoiding even creating the physical [[shares]] in the first place, and only having the [[jollycoin]]s representing the ''idea'' of incorporating the [[C-SPAC]] shares, we can ensure that, due to the [[smart contract]] ability of the [[blockchain]], the unalterable [[jollycoin]] tokens are the only representation of the share that exists in the [[onworld]] or the [[offworld]]. By doing this, the value of the [[share]]s will then be moved onto the [[NFT]].”}} | ||
===Branding remix=== | ===Branding remix=== |