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Employment derivatives: Difference between revisions
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“But,” complained Dochter, “we actually ''need'' our people. They actually do productive things for us. You know: [[MIS]] reports. Operational [[deep dive]]s. [[Netting]] audits .But unless we pay ''your'' stupid rates for them, which we cannot afford to do —” at this point she fell off her stool briefly — “and give them free fruit, unlimited working from home and a soft play area — they won’t stay with us. But, ''you'',” she hissed, clambering back up and jabbing [[Cass Mälstrom|Mälstrom]] on the lapel, “right now, ''you'' don’t need ''any goddamn'' staff: you just need to show your investors you are clever, imaginative and on point doing fashionably insane things. That does not take actual staff. So stop taking mine.” | “But,” complained Dochter, “we actually ''need'' our people. They actually do productive things for us. You know: [[MIS]] reports. Operational [[deep dive]]s. [[Netting]] audits .But unless we pay ''your'' stupid rates for them, which we cannot afford to do —” at this point she fell off her stool briefly — “and give them free fruit, unlimited working from home and a soft play area — they won’t stay with us. But, ''you'',” she hissed, clambering back up and jabbing [[Cass Mälstrom|Mälstrom]] on the lapel, “right now, ''you'' don’t need ''any goddamn'' staff: you just need to show your investors you are clever, imaginative and on point doing fashionably insane things. That does not take actual staff. So stop taking mine.” | ||
As luck would have it, Barkley was attending their table that evening. He presented them with the check and some after dinner mints. Barkley cleared his throat. And dropped a document on the table. | As luck would have it, Barkley was attending their table that evening. He presented them with the check and some after dinner mints. Barkley cleared his throat. And dropped a document on the table. | ||
“Forgive me for imposing, but I could not help overhearing. If you are not actually hiring anyone, why not hedge your employment rate risk to someone who is?” | “Forgive me for imposing, but I could not help overhearing. If you are not actually hiring anyone, why not hedge your employment rate risk to someone who is?” | ||
Dochter fell off her stool again. So was the first “[[employment rate swap]]” conceived. | Dochter fell off her stool again. | ||
Mälstrom indicated the booklet .“What’s this?” | |||
“[[NDA]]. Call me.” | |||
So was the first “[[employment rate swap]]” conceived. | |||
For an initial period of three years, Wickliffe would pay its entire operations wage bill, controlled for performance, to lexrifyly. In return, lexrifyly would pay its absurd, grossly inflated but actually unallocated wage budget for an equivalent sized-team — there was no such team; this was exactly the point — to Wickliffe Hampton.<ref>This was slightly complicated as it was denominated in [[crypto]] and needed to be converted back to Sterling. </ref> | For an initial period of three years, Wickliffe would pay its entire operations wage bill, controlled for performance, to lexrifyly. In return, lexrifyly would pay its absurd, grossly inflated but actually unallocated wage budget for an equivalent sized-team — there was no such team; this was exactly the point — to Wickliffe Hampton.<ref>This was slightly complicated as it was denominated in [[crypto]] and needed to be converted back to Sterling. </ref> | ||