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It’s great isn’t it? Can you just imagine the turtle you’d be looking under to prove this one?

Act IV, Scene i

A courtroom in the King’s Bench Division. Lord Justice Cocklecarrot M.R. inspects his nails in the hope of finding something for lunch. Sir Jerrold Baxter-Morley, K.C. arises suddenly with a spasmodic jerk and an emission of a grey-green gas. Lord Justice Cocklecarrot M.R. glowers.

Sir Jerrold Baxter-Morley, K.C.: M’lud, we have conclusive evidence that the defendant knew of this disclaimer, rendered I might add in FULL CAPITALS on page 346 of the presentation.

Mrs. Pinterman: Oh, no I didn’t.

Lord Justice Cocklecarrot M.R.: Didn’t you?

Mrs. Pinterman. No, sir. I didn’t read it!

Lord Justice Cocklecarrot M.R.: I say! Really, Sir Jerr —

Sir Jerrold Baxter-Morley, K.C. (beaming): BUT, MRS. PINTERMAN, IT SAYS HERE “YOU HAVE READ AND UNDERSTOOD THESE TERMS”!

Mrs. Pinterman: Well it might do, but how should I know? I didn’t read that either.

Sir Jerrold Baxter-Morley, K.C. (making a face like a landed guppy): I ... I... I

Lord Justice Cocklecarrot M.R.: Sir Jerrold, would you like to moment to see whether the —

Sir Jerrold Baxter-Morley, K.C.: — ground will swallow me up? I would be most obliged, M’Lud.

Curtain.