Piss and wind
G.K. Chesterton was an enormously fat man, given to sitting in his London club by himself, and not encouraging any other member to approach.
One day a young Winston Churchill dared to sit nearby. He took his seat and observed Chesterton closely, remarking: “’G.K.’, I do believe you are pregnant!” Chesterton replied, “You are probably right.”
“And what shall you call it? The baby, I mean?”
Chesterton regarded Churchill carefully. Then he said: “If it is a boy I shall call him Gerald. If a girl, I shall call her Katharine, after Katharine Parr, whom I admire. But if, as I suspect, it is all piss and wind I shall call it after you.”