Piss and wind
G.K. Chesterton was a large man, given to sitting in his club by himself, not encouraging any other member to approach.
One day Winston Churchill dared to sit nearby. He took his seat and observed Chesterton closely, remarking: “’G.K.’, I do believe you are pregnant!” Chesterton replied, “You are probably right.”
“And what shall you call it? The baby, I mean?”
Chesterton regarded Churchill carefully. Then he said: “If it is a boy I shall call him Gerald. If a girl, I shall call her Katharine, after Katharine Parr, whom I admire. But if, as I suspect, it is all piss and wind I shall call it after you.”