Conference Call Anatomy™

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According to the first law of work entropy, it is mathematically impossible for a conference call to start on time. Outside the German speaking world, the probability of anyone dialling in to any conference call even a moment more before it is scheduled to begin is as close to zero a makes no difference.

German speakers will happily join a conference call minutes or even hours before it is due to start purely to experience the cleansing effect (früheankunftfreude of being der warteschleifenmusikopfer — the first to plunge into an icy bath — or indeed to avoid the stigma (späteankunftschande) of being the last invitee to join — a taboo that applies even where all attendees have dialed in before the appointed time (an eventuality which, outside German speaking world, is all but logically impossible).

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