Piss and wind
G.K. Chesterton was a large man, given to sitting in his club by himself.
One day Winston Churchill deigned to sit nearby. He observed Chesterton closely before remarking: “’G.K.’, I do believe you are pregnant!”
Chesterton replied, “You are probably right.”
“And what shall you call it? The baby, I mean?”
Chesterton regarded Churchill carefully and said: “If it is a boy I shall call him Gerald. If a girl, I shall call her Katharine, after Katharine Parr, whom I admire. But if, as I suspect, it is all piss and wind I shall call it after you.”