Always be commenting

An page devoted to the occasional gems of the private practice lawyer industry — sole comments on an otherwise pristine draft that are there only because — because — it is in their nature.

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“A-B-C.

A: Always.
B: Be.
C: Commenting.
Always be commenting!

A-I-D-A:
A: Always.
I: In the name of.
D: Doubt.
A: Avoidance.
Always: Am I commenting?
In: Am I in the office?
Doubt: could someone, however petrified, paranoid, or beyond the practical reach of modern common sense, misconstrue? We are talking about judges, fellows. You are writing for JUDGES.
Avoidance: Have I avoided it? Can I avoid it? Did you avoid it? No, you did not, staff attorney Moss, you just stuck your goddamn foot in it.
I know you did, because I smell your dogshit plain English provincial conveyancer dreck. You comment or you hit the bricks! You got the prospects frettin’ in; you think they came in to get their asses out of the rain? Guy don't walk on the lot unless he wants to cover his ass. Sitting out there waiting for you to give him something to worry about! Are you gonna do it? A little “belts and suspenders”, a shrug of the shoulders, a no bright-line test? Are you attorney enough to take it?”

—Alec Barwin in Glengarry Glenmarkup

Because if you can’t laugh, you know they will.