American bacon drafting: Difference between revisions

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{{a|drafting|{{image|american bacon|png|Breakfast in America yesterday.}}}}{{d|American bacon drafting|/əˈmɛrɪkən ˈbeɪkən ˈdrɑːftɪŋ/|n|}}The legal equivalent of slapstick comedy: legal drafting created not so much to do anything but to ''be'' something. So named not because of necessary provenance from [[U.S. Attorney|American]] [[legal eagles]] — though they do tend to be good at it — but because it resembles, by [[metaphor]], the sort of so-called “bacon” they sell you in America. Any foreigner will recall the cycle of disappointment and grief they felt atr their first ''Breakfast In America'' when they watched local bacon cook for the first time.
{{a|drafting|{{image|american bacon|png|Breakfast in America yesterday.}}}}
{{d|American bacon drafting|/əˈmɛrɪkən ˈbeɪkən ˈdrɑːftɪŋ/|n|}}


American bacon drafting lives in the sort of wording that makes an incoming contract look hefty — even fearsome — but which, upon first contact with the pan, dissolves to a disappointing shrunken husk swimming in a sea of tepid grease.
The legal equivalent of slapstick comedy: legal drafting created not so much to ''do'' anything but to ''be'' something.
 
So named not because of necessary provenance from [[U.S. Attorney|American]] [[legal eagles]] — though they do tend to be good at it — but because it resembles, by [[metaphor]], the sort of so-called “bacon” they sell you in America. Any foreigner will recall the cycle of disappointment and grief they went through at their first ''Breakfast In America'' when they watched local bacon cook for the first time. and that was before they gave you chalk to put in your coffee.
 
“American bacon drafting” is the sort of wording that makes an incoming contract look hefty — even fearsome — but which, upon first contact with the pan, dissolves into a disappointing shrunken salty husk swimming in a sea of tepid grease.  
 
{| class="wikitable"
|+ The American bacon effect
|-
! In the Packet !! In the Pan
|-
|The Agent agrees to perform its obligations under this Agreement in good faith and in compliance with the instructions it may receive from time to time from Principal and with the provisions of the applicable laws, rules and regulations of the jurisdiction(s) in which the Agent and/or Principal conducts business (collectively, the “'''Relevant Laws'''”).  The Agent agrees to maintain any and all registrations and licences under the Relevant Laws applicable to its operations in connection with the services performed pursuant to this Agreement.  The Agent is solely and exclusively responsible for compliance with all activities of his agents, servants, employees, partners and principals.
 
The Principal agrees to perform its obligations under this Agreement in good faith and in compliance with the provisions of the applicable laws, rules and regulations of the jurisdiction(s) in which the Agent and/or Principal conducts business (collectively, the “'''Relevant Laws'''”).<ref>Redundant definition is a nice touch.</ref>  The Agent agrees to maintain any and all registrations and licences under the Relevant Laws applicable to its operations in connection with the services performed pursuant to this Agreement.  The Agent is solely and exclusively responsible for compliance with all activities of his agents, servants, employees, partners and principals.
| Example
|-
|}


I mean no disrespect to my American friends: only your bacon.
I mean no disrespect to my American friends: only your bacon.
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*[[U.S. Attorney]]
*[[U.S. Attorney]]
*[[Boilerplate]]
*[[Boilerplate]]
{{Ref}}