American bacon drafting: Difference between revisions

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 The legal equivalent of slapstick comedy: legal drafting created not so much to ''do'' anything but to ''be'' something.
-So named not because of its necessary provenance from [[U.S. Attorney|American]] [[legal eagles]] — though they do tend to be good at it — but because it resembles, by [[metaphor]], the sort of so-called “bacon” they sell you in America.
+“American bacon drafting” is the sort of wording that makes an incoming contract ''look'' hefty — even fearsome — but which, upon first contact with the pan, dissolves into a disappointing shrunken salty husk, swimming in a sea of tepid grease.
-Any foreigner will recall the cycle of disappointment and grief they went through at their first American breakfast, watching in fascinated horror at the gruesome spectacle of watching American bacon cook. And that was before they gave you chalk to put in your coffee.
+It is so named not because of its necessary provenance from [[U.S. Attorney|American]] [[legal eagles]] — though they do tend to be good at it — but because it resembles, by [[metaphor]], the sort of so-called “bacon” they sell you in America.
-“American bacon drafting” is the sort of wording that makes an incoming contract look hefty — even fearsome — but which, upon first contact with the pan, dissolves into a disappointing shrunken salty husk swimming in a sea of tepid grease.
+Any foreigner will know the cycle of disappointment and grief you go through at your first American breakfast, watching in fascinated horror at the gruesome spectacle: You have these pale waxen strips of stuff they assure you is bacon, and as it hits the pan, it vanishes before your disbelieving eyes. And then they give you chalk to put in your coffee.
-I mean no disrespect to my American friends: only your bacon. We have a worked example from a real life contract below. Observers will note that when you do boil it down to its constituents, they go without saying in the first place. This is the rule rather than the exception in “American bacon drafting”.
+Now we mean no disrespect to our dear American friends: only your bacon.
+We have a worked example, from a real life contract, below. Observers will note that when you do boil it down to its constituents, they  tend to go without saying in the first place. The real trick is ensuring this can only happen in the capable hands of a fellow legal eagle. God forbid your clients could ever work this out.
 {{sa}}
 *[[U.S. Attorney]]