American bacon drafting

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American bacon.png
Not proper bacon, yesterday.
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American bacon drafting
/əˈmɛrɪkən ˈbeɪkən ˈdrɑːftɪŋ/ (n.)
The legal equivalent of slapstick comedy: legal drafting created not so much to do anything but to be something. So named not necessarily because of provenance from American legal eagles — though they do tend to be adept at it — but because it resembles by metaphor the sort of so-called “bacon” they sell you in America.

American bacon drafting lives in the sort of wording that makes an incoming contract look hefty — even fearsome — but which, upon first contact with the pan, dissolves to a disappointing shrunken husk swimming in a sea of tepid grease.

I mean no disrespect to my American friends: only your bacon.


See also