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Cayman Islands rum cake: Difference between revisions
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{{a|cayman| | {{a|cayman| | ||
{{image|Ugland House|jpg|[[Ugland House]]: home to tens of thousands of helpless little orphan [[SPV]]s}}{{image|Rum cake|jpg|Tortuga is Spanish for Tortoise. Fact.}}{{image|Rum cake close-up|jpg|I mean just look at the ''heft'' of it.}}}}A love letter, written in | {{image|Ugland House|jpg|[[Ugland House]]: home to tens of thousands of helpless little orphan [[SPV]]s}}{{image|Rum cake|jpg|Tortuga is Spanish for Tortoise. Fact.}}{{image|Rum cake close-up|jpg|I mean just look at the ''heft'' of it.}}}}A love letter, written in tortoise honey. | ||
Many people around the world make it their business to deal with [[Cayman Islands]] {{tag|special purpose vehicle}}s. It couldn’t get much more exotic:— High finance, international intrigue, faxes running out of paper at the critical moment and saving Tom Cruise’s bacon;<ref>John Grisham: ''The Firm''. Possible, but highly implausible.</ref> drug-dealing gangsters throwing [[Anti-money laundering|money-launderers]] to the crocs<ref>Ben Affleck in {{fr|Runner Runner}}. Preposterous. There aren’t crocodiles in the [[Cayman Islands]]. {{cayman crocodiles}} | Many people around the world make it their business to deal with [[Cayman Islands]] {{tag|special purpose vehicle}}s. It couldn’t get much more exotic:— High finance, international intrigue, faxes running out of paper at the critical moment and saving Tom Cruise’s bacon;<ref>John Grisham: ''The Firm''. Possible, but highly implausible.</ref> drug-dealing gangsters throwing [[Anti-money laundering|money-launderers]] to the crocs<ref>Ben Affleck in {{fr|Runner Runner}}. Preposterous. There aren’t crocodiles in the [[Cayman Islands]]. {{cayman crocodiles}} | ||
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No. The closest you will get is when those perma-tanned, randy [[corporate service provider|corporate service providers]], sitting on their deck-chairs in their occasionally inclement paradise send you their annual thank-you for your custom: By time-honoured tradition, they do this by means of an air-mailed Tortuga [[Cayman Islands rum cake]]. | No. The closest you will get is when those perma-tanned, randy [[corporate service provider|corporate service providers]], sitting on their deck-chairs in their occasionally inclement paradise send you their annual thank-you for your custom: By time-honoured tradition, they do this by means of an air-mailed Tortuga [[Cayman Islands rum cake]]. | ||
This may seem meagre compensation, but don’t be fooled. Just wait till you ''taste'' that bad boy. Just ''lift'' it: feel the ''heft''. Tortuga rum | This may seem meagre compensation, but don’t be fooled. Just wait till you ''taste'' that bad boy. Just ''lift'' it: feel the ''heft''. Tortuga rum cakes are ''amazing''. They may arrive looking like they have been pummelled by baggage handlers at every depot across the Florida keys — in fairness they probably have — but the spicy ''wetness''. Like a great, moist, sopping, golden sponge, if you squeezed it, a rivulet of pure, golden nectar would run down your arm. | ||
For a second you will be bodily transported to that sun-kissed, philandering, intermittently-windy [[Cayman Islands|financial utopia]], and then, and ''then'' — | For a second you will be bodily transported to that sun-kissed, philandering, intermittently-windy [[Cayman Islands|financial utopia]], and then, and ''then'' — | ||
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*[[Special purpose vehicle]] | *[[Special purpose vehicle]] | ||
{{ref}} | {{ref}} | ||
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