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Many people around the world make it their business to deal with {{tag|Cayman Islands}} {{tag|special purpose vehicle}}s. It couldn't get much more exotic:— Hi finance, international intrigue, critical faxes running out of paper and saving Tom Cruise’s bacon<ref>John Grisham: ''The Firm''. Possible, but highly implausible.</ref>; gangsters throwing [[Anti-money laundering|money-launderers]] to the crocs<ref>Ben Affleck in ''Runner Runner''. Preposterous. There aren't crocodiles in the [[Cayman Islands]]. {{cayman crocodiles}} | Many people around the world make it their business to deal with {{tag|Cayman Islands}} {{tag|special purpose vehicle}}s. It couldn't get much more exotic:— Hi finance, international intrigue, critical faxes running out of paper and saving Tom Cruise’s bacon<ref>John Grisham: ''The Firm''. Possible, but highly implausible.</ref>; gangsters throwing [[Anti-money laundering|money-launderers]] to the crocs<ref>Ben Affleck in ''Runner Runner''. Preposterous. There aren't crocodiles in the [[Cayman Islands]]. {{cayman crocodiles}} | ||
</ref> and of course a whole, crazy, swinging scene out there of inter-marital ''jiggery pokery'' — the island is about the size of Poole, in the middle of a cruel ocean and beset by tropical storms, so it is no real surprise | </ref> and of course a whole, crazy, swinging scene out there of inter-marital ''jiggery pokery'' — the island is about the size of Poole, in the middle of a cruel ocean and beset by tropical storms, so it is no real surprise spouses wind up in each others’ beds, especially in hurricane season. Viz: | ||
:—Oh look! my car is in the neighbour’s tree! | :—Oh look! my car is in the neighbour’s tree! | ||
:—And | :—And my launch is on the neighbour’s garage! | ||
:—And there’s the missus on the kitchen table | :—And there’s the missus on the neighbour’s kitchen table! | ||
I digress. But did you have any idea writing board resolutions could be so exciting? | |||
Me neither. | Me neither. | ||
So pity the sad cadre of {{tag|London}}-bound lawyers who commission Cayman [[SPV]]s and have to review their salty board minutes<ref>Properly dirty these are. I couldn’t begin to tell you.</ref> — who spend long London evenings staring out into the dank gloom, longing for the exotic spice of island life of [[Ugland House]], Georgetown, Grand Cayman. | |||
But will anyone ever stump up to let these poor people actually ''go'' out there? Like, even to conduct [[due diligence]] or something? That would be prudent, right? Surely? | |||
Now financiers are partial to absurd boondoggles: [[gardening leave]]; [[corporate entertainment]]; [[Business day convention|conferences in exotic locales]] — but even they have limits and you, sir, are not swanning off to the Caribbean just to “check the place out”. Not even for the good of [[Firm - FCA Rulebook Term|the Firm]]<ref>See what I did there?</ref>. | |||
The closest you will get is when the [[corporate service provider|corporate service providers]] out in their occasionally inclement paradise send you their annual thank-you for your custom: By time-honoured tradition, they do this by means of an air-mailed Tortuga [[Cayman Islands rum cake]]. | |||
This may seem meagre compensation but don’t be fooled. Just wait till you taste that bad boy. Tortuga cakes are stone-cold ''amazing''. They may arrive looking like they have been pummelled by baggage handlers at every depot across the Florida keys — in fairness they probably have — but the [[taste]]. Like a great, sopping, golden sponge, if you squeezed it, it would wring out pure golden nectar. For a second you will be transported to that sun-kissed, philandering, intermittently-windy financial utopia. | |||
And then you snap back to the tattoo of drizzle against your window. Boy, it’s dark out there. | |||
{{dramatis personae}} | {{dramatis personae}} | ||
{{egg}} | {{egg}} | ||
{{ref}} | {{ref}} |