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| The [[CEO]] is thus afforded ''Hero of the Soviet Union, First Class'' status — often he will be awarded it by himself — and his pronouncements, however banal, hackneyed or foolish, will be quietly celebrated across the breadth of the organisation as “[[best in class]]”. Until his ouster, whereupon he will acquire the status of [[Trotsky]], [[Snowball]], [[Emmanuel Goldstein]] and so on. | | The [[CEO]] is thus afforded ''Hero of the Soviet Union, First Class'' status — often he will be awarded it by himself — and his pronouncements, however banal, hackneyed or foolish, will be quietly celebrated across the breadth of the organisation as “[[best in class]]”. Until his ouster, whereupon he will acquire the status of [[Trotsky]], [[Snowball]], [[Emmanuel Goldstein]] and so on. |
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| {{box| | | {{box|{{goldmanstory}}}} |
| ====The apocryphal [[Goldman]] story====
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| There is a story that a man known to all by only his [[Christian name]] at [[Goldman]] once had occasion to call the trading desk, at the time connected via a multi-line [[dealer board]]. Lord I wish it were true, but I doubt it. Let us call him [[Bob]] (not his real name, because this didn't happen, remember?).
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| A voice — youthful, without the tell-tale timbre of age and experience — picked up and, as on a trading desk one does, said:
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| :'''Trader''': “[[Goldman]].” ''(This is a statement. there is no inquiry, no rising inflection of curiousness. It's a statement.)''
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| :'''[[Bob]]''': “Yeah, can I get [[Jerry]]?” ''(Now, when you are known to all by your [[Christian name]] you don't bother with formalities like politeness. Nor, for that matter, do traders.
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| :'''Trader''': He's off the desk.
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| :''~click~''
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| Now [[Bob]] might not bother with politeness, but he rather thinks he's entitled to it. No message, even? Perhaps this young man didn't realize to whom he was speaking. [[Bob]] calls back.
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| :'''Trader''': “[[Goldman]].”
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| :'''[[Bob]]''': “Look, it's ''[[Bob]]'' here. Can I get [[Jerry]]?”
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| :'''Trader''': I just told you he’s off the desk.
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| :''~click~''
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| This will not do. [[Bob]], having dispensed with any doubt he may have been awarding this young fellow the benefit of, calls back a final time.
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| :'''Trader''': “[[Goldman]].”
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| :'''[[Bob]]''': Listen to me young man. I just called to ask for [[Jerry]]
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| :'''Trader''': I listened. And I told you he's off the desk.
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| :'''[[Bob]]''' ''(exploding)'': DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!
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| :'''Trader''': Yes. You're Bob. You're the executive chairman of the firm.
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| :'''[[Bob]]''': Right.
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| :'''Trader''': But, Bob, you don't know who I am, do you?
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| :'''[[Bob]]''': Ahh, ... ''no''?
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| :'''Trader''': Right.
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| :''~click~''
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| }}
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| {{seealso}} | | {{seealso}} |
| *[[The CEO wants this to happen]] | | *[[The CEO wants this to happen]] |