Cruwwelpeter: Difference between revisions

{{a|otto|{{image|Scissorman|png|Poor, stupid Samuel.}}}}Obscure German librettist {{Otto}} wrote this book of cautionary tales about what happens to children who misbehave with [[charge]]s (''Geschäftsanteilsverpfändung''). The single remaining volume — it may be the only one printed in the first place, as a matter of fact — was discovered whilst clearing out a Schuldscheine warehouse in Hannover.

Cruwwelpeter and similar burlesques have thrown a long, nervous shadow over the practice of banking law, though contemporary [[thought-leader]]s tend to regard them as needlessly violent, prejudiced and unkind to poor legal eagles who we all recognise now suffer from all kinds of mental frailties, burnout and whingery and simply don’t deserve everyone to be so mean to them.

{{Buchstein}}, widely regarded as a talentless hack, has also been accused of ripping the whole concept off from Heinrich Hoffman’s better known ''[[Struwwelpeter]]'', to which it certainly bears a striking resemblance.

The book catalogues a series of grim mishaps befalling those kinds of obstreperous children who would interfere with [[pledge]]s, [[collateral]], customary [[lien]]s and the proper segregation of [[client assets]].  Tales include:

*Foolish Harriet, who played with duration mismatches and burned herself to death.

*Johnny Head-in-Air, who forgot to file a [[Slavenburg]] and was struck off the wharf and floated away from the legal industry, to become a geography teacher, after a failed attempt at acting.

*Fidgety Philip amended his security package and rendered it void for want of [[consideration]].

*Low-energy Lionel, who didn’t like having to read all those [[NDA]]s so founded a [[legaltech startup]].

And, most gruesomely of all, there was the story of [[Sam Bankman-Fried|Samuel]], little “Nick-a-Fund”, who — well, as you will see as you read it — bears a remarkable, if heavily disclaimed, resemblance to a naughty child of recent times.

 

{{Little Nick-A-Fund}}