Dear Client: Difference between revisions

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{{a|g|}}At the [[JC]] we struggle to understand the pathology of someone who addresses an [[out of office]] auto-reply to “[[Dear Sender]]”, but we suspect it is along the same lines as the commuter who cheerily says “Thanks, Driver!” as he alights, thereby showing unusual courtesy and then trampling all over it in the space of two words.
{{a|g|}}At the [[JC]] we struggle to understand the pathology of someone who addresses an [[out of office]] auto-reply to “[[Dear Sender]]”, but we suspect it is along the same lines as the commuter who cheerily says “Thanks, Driver!” as he alights, thereby showing unusual courtesy and then trampling all over it in the space of two words.


“[[Dear Client]]” is much the same. It is bad business: “dear” conveys a degree of (professionally appropriate) intimacy with your correspondent. Nothing untoward or smutty about that even in these perpetually outraged times, of course, but it does imply you at least ''know the person’s name''. “[[Client]]” implies quite the opposite: either that you ''don’t'' know or that you don’t ''care'': it is how you describe a faceless bovine — usually a herd of them — tethered to a stall in the milking shed. You are special to me and, I suppose, I ''could'' go to the effort of setting up a mail-merge and injecting your actual name from my ''immaculate''<ref>Did you see the irony there? Did you? You saw it, didn’t you?</ref> store of [[client static data]] but, actually, hang it, life’s too short.
“[[Dear Client]]” is much the same. It is bad business: “dear” conveys a degree of (professionally appropriate) intimacy with your correspondent. Nothing untoward or smutty about that even in these perpetually outraged times, of course, but it does imply you at least ''know the person’s name''. “[[Client]]” implies quite the opposite: either that you ''don’t'' know or that you don’t ''care'': it is how you describe a faceless bovine — usually a herd of them — tethered to a stall in the milking shed.  


This is no [[paradox]], folks. There’s a simple solution if you find yourself between these stools: don’t use “dear” ''or'' “client”.
“Dear Client” is to say, “you ''are'' special to me and, I suppose, I ''could'' go to the effort of setting up a mail-merge and injecting your actual name from my ''immaculate''<ref>Did you see the irony there? Did you? You saw it, didn’t you?</ref> [[client static data]] repository  but, actually, hang it, life’s too goddamn ''short''.”
 
This is no [[paradox]], folks. There’s a simple solution if you find yourself between these particular stools: don’t use ''either'' “dear” ''or'' “client” when addressing your communication.


There is nothing wrong with ''not'' including a client’s name in the right circumstances: it might be a to-all communication going to 5,000 people updating them about MiFID 2 roll out, and the simple logistics of setting up a mail-merge  might just not be worth the bother. Fair enough, if so, ''but then don’t call them “dear”''. You’re running an ad in the paper for crying out loud, not inviting them to your son’s barvitzvah.
There is nothing wrong with ''not'' including a client’s name in the right circumstances: it might be a to-all communication going to 5,000 people updating them about MiFID 2 roll out, and the simple logistics of setting up a mail-merge  might just not be worth the bother. Fair enough, if so, ''but then don’t call them “dear”''. You’re running an ad in the paper for crying out loud, not inviting them to your son’s barvitzvah.