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-A window into the soul of your correspondent (or, where harnessed to the [[great steampunk machine]] of a multinational corporation, that entity's blackened soul). his kind of {{tag|disclaimer}} may canvass any [[one or more]] of the following subjects:
+{{a|email|}}An email disclaimer can be long or short; sombre or witty; comprehensive or general; but it ''will'' be there: an extract of text, appended to every outbound communication, canvassing any [[one or more]] of the following subjects:
+===What it ''is''===
-*[[confidentiality]]
+The disclaimer will disingenuously catalogue the email’s [[confidentiality]] (though it ''won’t'' be: you don’t protect confidences by randomly emailing them to people); its [[copyright]] (and it ''might'' be, but the commercial value of an electronic message in a world awash with the buggers is nil, so good luck suing on it); its [[privilege]] (and unless in her headlong rush to obtain legal advice having been sued, the sender mistook you for her attorney, or was one herself and mistook you for her client, it won’t be); its potential inaccuracy (this is certainly possible, and a cute counterpoint to its ostensible value as [[intellectual property]]: “look, it is copyright, but probably bullshit”); it presents existential epidemiological danger to your computer systems if opened (in which case wghat were you doing sending it to someone else, and had its intended addressee safely received this cyber-trojan-laden hell-bomb, would that have been okay?); and all that said  it will impress upon the mistaken receiver a moral — but (Law of Contracts 101 check: ''not'' legal) duty to destroy it if it was, in fact, sent in error.
-*[[copyright]]
+===What it is not===
-*[[privilege]] (despite its protestations, almost no emails will ever be legally privileged)
+It may also wax lengthily about what it is ''not'': a subject, of course, on which any [[lawyer]] can joyfully extemporise for as long as there are cattle still out on manoeuvres. It is not professional advice (as if that won’t be dolefully apparent on its face), nor an [[offer]] or a [[solicitation]] of an offer, nor a recommendation to ''do'' anything or ''not'' do anything (this is quite the juicy [[double negative]]: “we are ''not'' telling you ''not'' to do anything”.) And what kind of person acts instinctively on a recommendation from an email anyway? (Don’t answer that: it is most of you.)
-*It might not be accurate
-*It might contain viruses
-*An appeal to destroy it if sent in error.
-*Things it isn't:
-**Professional advice
-**An offer or solicitation of an offer
-**A recommendation to do anything or not do anything (Stop and think about this juicy [[double negative]] for a while: “We are not telling you not to do anything”.)
-{{Box|The information contained in this e-mail, and any attachment, is confidential and is intended solely for the use of the intended recipient. Access, copying or re-use of the e-mail or any attachment, or any information contained therein, by any other person is not authorized. If you are not the intended recipient please return the e-mail to the sender and delete it from your computer. Although we attempt to sweep e-mail and attachments for viruses, we do not guarantee that either are virus-free and accept no liability for any damage sustained as a result of viruses.}}
-{{box|This e-mail and any attachment(s) are intended only for use by the addressee[[(s)]] and may contain privileged [[and/or]] confidential information. If you are not the intended recipient of this e-mail, any dissemination, distribution taking of any action, printing or copying of this e-mail [[and/or]] its attachments is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately notify us, and delete the e-mail immediately.}}
+All of this served up in the certain knowledge no person having enough adult literacy to comprehend an email disclaimer would — or even ''could'' — be dim-witted or bored enough to read it, much less care about what it says. So what do we think we are achieving with an email disclaimer? Which part of [[Chicken-licken|the sky would fall upon our heads]] were it not there?
+===World champions===
+Since these things are the public face of our institutions, they should not mind us analysing them in public. Here is a collection of the JC’s favourites.
+=====Credit/Crédit (who knows?) Agricole=====
+''This one gets points not only for extreme length and irrelevance but also for its inexplicable typos, unused definitions and formatting inconsistencies. Can you not at least run the damn thing through a spellchecker?''<br>
+{{subtable|{{small|70}}{{divhelvetica|{{email disclaimer credit agricole}}}}</div>}}
+{{sa}}
+*[[This email and its contents are confidential and may be privileged]]
 {{draft}}
 {{egg}}