82,891
edits
Fire drill: Difference between revisions
no edit summary
Amwelladmin (talk | contribs) No edit summary |
Amwelladmin (talk | contribs) No edit summary |
||
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
{{a|work|[[File:2319.jpg|450px|center|frameless|]]{{subtable|The fire-drill, known to parents of toddlers around the turn of the millennium, such as the [[JC]], as a “[[2319]]”.}}}}{{d|Fire drill|/ˈfʌɪə drɪl/|n|}} | {{a|work|[[File:2319.jpg|450px|center|frameless|]]{{subtable|The fire-drill, known to parents of toddlers around the turn of the millennium, such as the [[JC]], as a “[[2319]]”.}}}}{{d|Fire drill|/ˈfʌɪə drɪl/|n|}} | ||
1. '''Management''': That unexpected [[black swan]] event that is certain to bugger up your weekend. It will start with clear and present danger (albeit apprehended through the foggy beer goggles of war, confusion and miscommunication from panicked people in [[operations|ops]]); it will gradually suck in more and more people across the organisation ([[legal]], [[litigation]], [[compliance]], [[senior relationship management]]) to a point where: | 1. '''Management''': That unexpected [[black swan]] event that is certain to bugger up your weekend. It will start with clear and present danger (albeit apprehended through the foggy beer goggles of war, confusion and miscommunication from panicked people in [[operations|ops]]); it will gradually suck in more and more people across the organisation ([[legal]], [[litigation]], [[compliance]], [[senior relationship management]]) to a point where: | ||
:(a) it becomes so large that the combined mass of important people creates a [[Schwarzschild radius]] and it collapses in on itself (the “''Bang'' scenario”) or | :(a) it becomes so large that the combined mass of important people creates a [[Schwarzschild radius]] and it collapses in on itself (the “'''''Bang''''' scenario”) or | ||
:(b) it becomes ''so'' dispersed, and its [[entropy]] so great, that it fizzles out towards some kind of [[boredom heat death]] as it becomes clear that neither the legal terms so patiently negotiated, the firmwide policies so compendiously documented or the common-sense so parsimoniously rationed, has any real prospect of overriding the dictates of [[Percy, who’s Queen?|keeping the client happy]] (the “''whimper'' scenario”). | :(b) it becomes ''so'' dispersed, and its [[entropy]] so great, that it fizzles out towards some kind of [[boredom heat death]] as it becomes clear that neither the legal terms so patiently negotiated, the firmwide policies so compendiously documented or the common-sense so parsimoniously rationed, has any real prospect of overriding the dictates of [[Percy, who’s Queen?|keeping the client happy]] (the “'''''whimper''''' scenario”). | ||
As in so many avenues of modern life, whimpers outnumber bangs by a proportion large enough to make the “whimper” scenario all but certain, but not ''quite'' certain enough that the “bang” risk can be ignored from the get-go | As in so many avenues of modern life — well, mine, anyway — whimpers outnumber bangs by a proportion large enough to make the “whimper” scenario all but certain, but not ''quite'' certain enough that the “bang” risk can safely be ignored from the get-go. | ||
So you have to go through the motions. Hence, [[fire drill]]s are a regular part of commercial life. | Even though — nay, ''because'' — they threaten our very existence, bangs are far more fun to be involved in, and dealing with them is fully life-affirming — unless deep down you know they are really just jumped-up little whimpers. Which of course, by immutable rotation of the heavenly dials, they will be. | ||
So you have to go through the motions for nothing. Hence, [[fire drill]]s are a regular part of commercial life. | |||
Parents of toddlers in 2001, who thus have that splendid motion picture ''[[Monsters, Inc.]]'' burned on their brains, know a “bang-disguised whimper” as a “[[2319]]”. | Parents of toddlers in 2001, who thus have that splendid motion picture ''[[Monsters, Inc.]]'' burned on their brains, know a “bang-disguised whimper” as a “[[2319]]”. | ||