Golgafrincham: Difference between revisions

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{{a|people|}}According to the {{hhgg}}, [[Golgafrincham]] was an over-populated planet, whose more resourceful inhabitants invented stories of impending doom to persuade their less-resourceful co-inhabitants to bugger off. Some said [[Golgafrincham]] would crash into the sun; others that the planet was to be invaded by twelve-foot piranha bees; still others that it was in danger of being eaten by an mutant star-goat.
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[[File:B-ark.jpg|450px|frameless|center]]
}}According to the {{hhgg}}, [[Golgafrincham]] was an overpopulated planet, whose more resourceful inhabitants invented stories of impending doom to persuade their less-resourceful co-inhabitants to bugger off. Some said [[Golgafrincham]] would crash into the sun; others that the planet was to be invaded by twelve-foot piranha bees; still others that it was in danger of being eaten by a mutant star-goat.  


So the resourceful Golgafrinchans decided to rid themselves of the useless third of their population — the hairdressers, telephone sanitisers, [[internal audit]]ors, [[derivatives onboarding specialist|derivative onboarding specialist]]s, [[talent acquisition director]]s, [[serial entrepreneur]]s, [[intrapreneur]]s, [[executive coach]]es, [[social media consultant]]s [[thought leaders]] and [[digital prophet]]s  basically, everyone with an active [[LinkedIn]] profile.<ref>Okay, I know there were no LinkedIn profiles or [[social media consultants]] when {{Author|Douglas Adams}} was alive: look at this as part of the {{hhgg}} expanded universe, okay?</ref> The resourceful [[Golgafrinchan]]s annouced the construction of three “Ark ships”. The A ship would carry all the leaders, scientists and other high achievers. The C ship would contain all the people who made things and did things, and the B Ark would hold the middle management third mentioned above.  
More recently, they said the impending [[singularity]] would ensure [[technological unemployment]] where those with meaningful [[subject matter expert]]ise would self-immolate, being projected virtually into lives of liberal indulgence, leisure and poetry whilst simultaneously being physically harvested of their essential chemicals for fuel by our machine overlords. In this view, the only humans left would be those whose roles were so devoid of intelligence in the first place as to be constitutionally immune from the inevitable destructive progress of [[artificial intelligence|''artificial'' intelligence]]. This ''layer'' ''[[medio administratione]]'', in the argot — embedded itself into human organisational structures in every part of society as a persistent, impermeable, sedimentary (not to say ''sedentary'') bulwark “against oncoming oblivion”. Those whom they left behind — or “threw under the bus”, as they silently regarded it —had a different view.


To prepare the new world for the A and C Ark Ships — to be sure the planet had been properly audited and [[KYC]]’d, had appropriate [[HR]] policies and [[SOX]] attestations in place, and so on, by the time the remainder got there, the [[Golgafinchan]]s sent the Ark Ship B off first. The remaining two-thirds of the population stayed behind and lived full, rich and happy lives until they were all wiped out by a catastrophic [[indemnity]]: no-one noticed it did not [[carve out]] [[negligence, fraud or wilful default]].
In any case, the world was
 
So the resourceful Golgafrinchans decided to rid themselves of the useless third of their population by dividing themselvers into three categories: The first was the leaders, explorers, inventors and scientists; the third was those who did things and made things: farmers, labourers, manufacturers, nurses, doctors, bus drivers and artisanal coffee vendors;<ref>''Hang on. Are you sure abiout this last one? Ed.''</ref> and the second was the remainder: the hairdressers, telephone sanitisers, [[internal audit]]ors, [[derivatives onboarding specialist|derivative onboarding specialist]]s, [[talent acquisition director]]s, [[serial entrepreneur]]s, [[intrapreneur]]s, [[executive coach]]es, [[social media consultant]]s [[thought leaders]] and [[digital prophet]]s  — basically, everyone with an active [[LinkedIn]] profile.<ref>Okay, I know there were no LinkedIn profiles or [[social media consultants]] when {{Author|Douglas Adams}} was alive: look at this as part of the {{hhgg}} expanded universe, okay?</ref>
 
The [[Golgafrinchan]]s announced the construction of three “Arks”. The A Ark would carry all the leaders. The C Ark would carry the makers and doers. The B Ark would hold those of the persistent [[medio adminsitratione]] and the others mentioned above.  To prepare the new world for the A and C Arks — to be sure the planet had been properly audited and [[KYC]]’d, had appropriate [[HR]] policies and [[SOX]] attestations in place, and so on, by the time the remainder got there, the [[Golgafrinchan]]s sent the B Ark off first.  
 
The remaining two-thirds of the population stayed behind and lived full, rich and happy lives until they were all wiped out by a poorly crafted [[indemnity]] which was not limited to [[Direct loss|direct]] [[Foreseeability|foreseeable]] losses and did not [[carve out]] [[negligence, fraud or wilful default]].


Thus, all that remains of the [[Golgafrinchan]]s are those from [[Ark Ship B]], which crashed (safely) into a small green-blue planet orbiting an unregarded yellow sun in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy. A pale blue dot.
Thus, all that remains of the [[Golgafrinchan]]s are those from [[Ark Ship B]], which crashed (safely) into a small green-blue planet orbiting an unregarded yellow sun in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy. A pale blue dot.