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| This is rather like [[insurance]]. For most purposes, [[insurance]] is a waste of money — realistically, you are never going to claim on your extended warranty if your toaster breaks down after 18 months because (a) you can’t find it and (b) ''the damn thing only cost twenty five quid'' — the bother of having to find the stupid warranty, read it — there is ''guaranteed'' to be some exclusion — and actually claim on it is more bother than just shelling out twenty five more quid on a ''new'' toaster — of a different brand: screw you, Morphy Richards — and being done with it. | | This is rather like [[insurance]]. For most purposes, [[insurance]] is a waste of money — realistically, you are never going to claim on your extended warranty if your toaster breaks down after 18 months because (a) you can’t find it and (b) ''the damn thing only cost twenty five quid'' — the bother of having to find the stupid warranty, read it — there is ''guaranteed'' to be some exclusion — and actually claim on it is more bother than just shelling out twenty five more quid on a ''new'' toaster — of a different brand: screw you, Morphy Richards — and being done with it. |
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| But there are [[insurance]] policies that, ''by themselves'', ''increase'' the likelihood of loss. Public liability insurance, for example. Directors’ and officers’ liability insurance. | | But there are [[insurance]] policies that, ''by themselves'', ''increase'' the likelihood of loss. Public liability insurance, for example. Directors’ and officers’ liability [[insurance]]. |
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| So, a shaggy dog story: Against his better judgement, the [[JC]] is, for reasons that are now too ghastly to recount or even remember, an accredited level 2 ECB [[cricket]] coach. During that accreditation course, which he would not recommend to his worst enemy, candidates suffered a presentation by the ECB’s ''Association of Cricket Officials'' — I know, right — about the benefits of membership of that august body.
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| Now every now and then the [[JC]] can come on all a bit misanthropic, and this rainy Saturday afternoon in March was just such a day.
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| “Why on God’s barren earth,” he wondered aloud, “would anyone want to ''pay money'' to be in an association like this?”
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| The best answer the fellow presenting — a member himself, of course — could give was, “because you would benefit from our [[public liability insurance]] policy. That is where the lion’s share of your membership dues go.” Now the “public liability” concerned was that of an amateur coach, on exercises with his team, when some accident befell one of the delicate little flowers in his charge, which might be attributable to the coach’s carelessness or lack of prudent regard.
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| Now here’s the thing. Coaching [[cricket]] is a pitiless pastime, in every possible way. You are not thanked for it, let alone paid for it. You certainly don’t grow rich from it — except spiritually, of course. You do it out of the goodness of your heart, a vague sense of moral obligation to the forthcoming generation, and a forlorn hope that some of the little ingrates might grow to love the game, for it is a wonderful diversion from the encroaching enormity of growing old. So, any parent who gets a Sunday morning lie-in while you stand in a wind-swept field explaining the rudiments of the back-foot drive to little Basil, but yet has ''civil [[litigation]]'' uppermost in his mind — and not profound, undying gratitude — should Basil cop a short one on the bonce, should rot in hell. He should be ''grateful'', as a default disposition, rather than opportunistically ''extortionate''.<ref>He won’t be, of course — that’s just the cruel reality of the human condition for you — but he ''should''.</ref>
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| All the same, [[cricket]] is a perilous pastime. That 5½ oz leather-encased cork ball flies about at a decent lick. If it clocks junior, or he sprains his ankle, gets run over or somehow contracts hepatitis, then (a) that will do him, and the world, the world of good, long term, and (b) unless you, coach, are some kind of pederast or have been egregiously delinquent when supervising young Tarquin, his adequately socialised parents<ref>They won’t be, of course: they named the pompous little bugger Tarquin, after all, so you know they lack fundamental empathy, and anyway the apple does not fall far from the tree, does it?</ref> — even neurotic North London ones — will shrug shoulders and figure that’s the price of being a lazy sod and letting other people look after their kids.
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| Will they ''sue'' you? Of course not. It is too much of a faff. For one thing, you are probably on the bones of your arse, and what judge is going to be in punitive frame of mind when considering a well-intended volunteer doing his best to look after someone else’s brat?
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| Yet all that might change, ''should you benefit from public liability [[insurance]]''. Suddenly it isn’t ''your'' pocket that helicopter mum is going after. It is worth a claim. To be sure, the insurer will refuse the claim for as long as is commercially plausible, whatever its merits — that’s part of the funding model, for many of them — but in the mean time it will put up premiums, citing actuarial data, because of its assessed dereliction of obligation of the insured. Your own membership for the ECBACO might only go up a fiver, but in the mean time the insurance company is ''creaming it''.
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| So, yes: public liability insurance encourages crappy behaviour from everyone concerned:
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| *''You'' are disincentivised from taking suitable care because — hey, you’re insured, right?
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| *''Helicopter mum'' is encouraged to [[Noli mentula esse|be a dick]] and make a claim, since it’s not thou well-intentioned volunteer coach she’s going after but a faceless corporate insurer, and
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| *''Faceless corporate insurer'', being little more than a faceless corporate mode of extortion, will tell Helicopter Mum where to get off — there will be an exclusion — ''and'' gouge the poor old cricket association — and by extension ''you'' — by jacking up its premiums on account of its transparently negligent membership. Helicopter Mum, having embarked on the road to litigation may be inclined to put more money after bad in pursuing you in your person capacity, notwithstanding your impecuniosity.
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| {{sa}} | | {{sa}} |
| | *[[Insurance]] |
| *{{br|Antifragile: Things that Gain from Disorder}} by the perennially entertaining {{author|Nassim Nicholas Taleb}} | | *{{br|Antifragile: Things that Gain from Disorder}} by the perennially entertaining {{author|Nassim Nicholas Taleb}} |
| {{ref}} | | {{ref}} |