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 But there are [[insurance]] policies that, ''by themselves'', ''increase'' the likelihood of loss. Public liability insurance, for example.
-A shaggy dog story. Against his better judgement. the [[JC]] is, for reasons that are now too ghastly to recount or even remember, an accredited level 2 ECB [[cricket]] coach. During that accreditation course, which I would not recommend to my worst enemy, candidates were presented to by the ECB Association of Cricket Officials — I know, right — about the benefits of membership of that august body.  Now every now and then the JC can come on all a bit misanthropic, and this rainy Saturday afternoon was just such a day.
+So, a shaggy dog story: Against his better judgement, the [[JC]] is, for reasons that are now too ghastly to recount or even remember, an accredited level 2 ECB [[cricket]] coach. During that accreditation course, which he would not recommend to his worst enemy, candidates suffered a presentation by the ECB’s ''Association of Cricket Officials'' — I know, right — about the benefits of membership of that august body.
-“Why on God’s barren earth,” he wondered, “would I want to pay money to be in an association with people like you?”
+Now every now and then the [[JC]] can come on all a bit misanthropic, and this rainy Saturday afternoon in  March was just such a day.
-The best answer this fellow could give was, “because you would benefit from our public liability insurance policy. That is where the lion’s share of your membership dues go.”
+“Why on God’s barren earth,” he wondered, “would I want to pay money to be in an association with people like this?”
-The public liability concerned was that of a coach, out on exercises with his team, when some accident befell one of the delicate little flowers in his charge, which might be attributable to the coach’s carelessness or lack of prudent regard.
+The best answer the fellow presenting could give was, “because you would benefit from our public liability insurance policy. That is where the lion’s share of your membership dues go.”
-Now here’s the thing. Coaching [[cricket]] is thankless, in every possible way. You are not paid for it. You certainly don’t grow rich from it — except spiritually, of course. You do it out of the goodness of your heart, a vague sense of moral obligation to the forthcoming generation, and a forlorn hope that the little ingrates might grow to love the game, which is a wonderful diversion from the encroaching enormity of growing old.
+The public liability concerned was that of a coach, on exercises with his team, when some accident befell one of the delicate little flowers in his charge, which might be attributable to the coach’s carelessness or lack of prudent regard.
-So any parent who gets a Sunday morning lie-in while you stand in a wind-swept field explaining the rudiments of the back-foot drive to little Horatio and has civil [[litigation]] uppermost in his mind, over the social betterment of junior, will rot in hell. He should be ''grateful'', as a default disposition towards Horatio’s minders, rather than opportunistically extortionate.<ref>He won’t be, of course — that’s just the cruel reality of the human condition for you — but he ''should''.</ref>
+Now here’s the thing. Coaching [[cricket]] is a pitiless pastime, in every possible way. You are not thanked for it, let alone paid for it. You certainly don’t grow rich from it — except spiritually, of course. You do it out of the goodness of your heart, a vague sense of moral obligation to the forthcoming generation, and a forlorn hope that some of the little ingrates might grow to love the game, for it is a wonderful diversion from the encroaching enormity of growing old.
-Yet, [[cricket]] is a perilous pastime. 5½ oz of cork flies about at a decent lick. If junior sprains his ankle, gets run over or cops a short one to the temple, then (a) that will do him the world of good, long term, and (b) unless you, coach, are some kind of pederast or have been egregiously delinquent in supervising Horatio’s backfoot technique, adequately socialised parents — even a neurotic North London ones — will shrug shoulders and figure that’s the price of being a lazy sod and letting other people look after their kids. Will they ''sue'' you? Of course not. For one thing, you are probably on the bones of your arse, and what judge is going to be in punitive frame of mind when considering a well-intended volunteer doing his best to look after someone else’s brat?
+So any parent who gets a Sunday morning lie-in while you stand in a wind-swept field explaining the rudiments of the back-foot drive to his little Horatio, but who has civil [[litigation]] uppermost in his mind, even over the social betterment of junior, should rot in hell. He should be ''grateful'', as a default disposition, rather than opportunistically ''extortionate''.<ref>He won’t be, of course — that’s just the cruel reality of the human condition for you — but he ''should''.</ref>
+All the same, [[cricket]] is a perilous pastime. That 5½ oz leather-encased cork ball flies about at a decent lick. If it clocks junior, or he sprains his ankle, gets run over or somehow contracts hepatitis, then (a) that will do him the world of good, long term, and (b) unless you, coach, are some kind of pederast or have been egregiously delinquent when supervisining young Tarquin, his adequately socialised parents<ref>They won’t be, of course: they named the defenceless little babe Tarquin so they must be lacking empathy on some fundamental level.</ref> — even neurotic North London ones — will shrug shoulders and figure that’s the price of being a lazy sod and letting other people look after their kids.
+Will they ''sue'' you? Of course not. It is too much of a faff. For one thing, you are probably on the bones of your arse, and what judge is going to be in punitive frame of mind when considering a well-intended volunteer doing his best to look after someone else’s brat?
 All that might change if you benefit from public liability insurance. Suddenly ''yours'' isn’t the pocket helicopter dad is going after.  It is worth a claim. Insurer is likely to refuse the claim — that’s the business model for many of them — but it will  still put its premiums up because of the assessed dereliction of obligation of the insured. Your own membership mght only go up a fiver, but the insurance company is ''creaming it''.