Key performance indicator: Difference between revisions

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 {{def|Key performance indicator|/kiː pəˈfɔːm(ə)ns ˈɪndɪkeɪtə/|n|
 [[File:Richard Scarry.jpg|450px|thumb|center|A [[middle manager]]’s big book of fun concepts, yesterday]]
-}}A [[metric]]. A [[box-ticking|box to tick]]. A [[second-order derivative]] used to explain a [[complicated]] concept to a [[Middle manager|dullard]] with no background who has no hope of understanding it, so {{sex|he}} can ''quantify'' it.
+}}A [[metric]]. A [[box-ticking|box to tick]]. A [[second-order derivative]] used to explain a [[complicated]] concept to an [[administrator]] who has no background or hope of understanding it, so {{sex|he}} can ''quantify'' it.
-Something less edifying than a film’s audio-description soundtrack, but intended to have the same effect. A functional, if ungainly, transmission of basic ideas designed for someone who is physically incapable of consuming them in their native state.
+[[KPI]] is rather like an audio-description soundtrack, designed to explain a film to a blind accountant.
-Just one wouldn’t usually send in the visually impaired to review movies — don’t @ me, folks — nor should one send in the clowns to evaluate complex legal processes, but this doesn’t stop it happening, daily.
+So, for a contracts [[negotiator]], cast adrift upon an ocean of policies, [[playbook]]s, procedures, approval processes to reach agreement which achieves the firm’s trading objectives while protecting its exposure to its counterparties, [[key performance indicator]]s will be not the ''quality'' of the agreed termination events nor the validity of the security package, much less the practicality of margining arrangements, the sensitivity of the [[NAV trigger|NAV triggers]] or the robustness of the [[indemnity]], but ''how many contracts she has completed and how quickly she managed it.''
-So, for a poor [[ISDA negotiator]], charged with navigating thousands of policies any the kaleidoscope of [[control function]]s to conclude an agreement which achieves the firm’s trading objectives while protecting its exposure to its counterparties, [[key performance indicator]]s will be not the quality of the agreed termination events nor the validity of the security package, much less the practicality of margining arrangements, the sensitivity of the [[NAV trigger|NAV triggers]] or the robustness of the [[indemnity]], but ''how quickly she finishes the [[negotiation]].''
+===[[KPI]]s and the [[modernist]] way===
-===KPIs and the [[modernist]] way===
 As a [[Second-order derivative|quantified abstraction of an intractable activity]], we can see [[key performance indicator]]s as tools from the [[modernist]] [[playbook]]. “I do not understand this bizarre pantomime by which [[subject matter expert]]s pass their time, so I will reduce it to it countable operations. I can understand those. I can count them.”