|
|
Line 10: |
Line 10: |
|
| |
|
| After all, however idiotic LinkedIn is, the [[Jolly Contrarian]] still publishes some of its snitty ramblings there. Do as [[I]] say, not as [[I]] do, folks. | | After all, however idiotic LinkedIn is, the [[Jolly Contrarian]] still publishes some of its snitty ramblings there. Do as [[I]] say, not as [[I]] do, folks. |
| | {{linkedin job descriptions}} |
|
| |
|
| ===Job descriptions on [[LinkedIn]]===
| |
| A guide to LinkedIn profile descriptions
| |
| {{Tabletop}}
| |
| |'''Title'''
| |
| |'''What it means'''
| |
| |-
| |
| |''[[Thought leader]]''
| |
| |Twat.
| |
| |-
| |
| |''Digital prophet''
| |
| |[[Thought leader]].
| |
| |-
| |
| |''Web developer ''
| |
| |Invented the Internet.
| |
| |-
| |
| |''[[Derivatives]] [[onboarding]] [[specialist]]''
| |
| |School leaver from Gdansk, seeking fortune in Krakow.
| |
| |-
| |
| |''[[Serial entrepreneur]]''
| |
| |Unemployable fantasist.
| |
| |-
| |
| |''Angel investor ''
| |
| |Recently, belatedly, made redundant from an [[middle management]] role.
| |
| |-
| |
| |''[[Founder and CEO]]... ''
| |
| |Recently made redundant from an [[operations]] role. Now contracting.
| |
| |-
| |
| |''Privileged to be leading customer-focussed teams in an exciting network-centric IT services market''
| |
| |Dead-set ''zero'' idea what this is even supposed to mean, but sounds disingenuous and obviously a twat.
| |
| |-
| |
| |''Executive coach ''
| |
| |Recently made redundant from an [[operations]] role. Unable to find contracting work.
| |
| |-
| |
| |''[[Intrapreneur]]''
| |
| |Shortly to be embarking on a new career as an executive coach but hasn't realised it yet.
| |
| |-
| |
| |''Seeking new opportunities in ...''
| |
| |Possessed of admirable candour but no common sense at all. A weak gazelle.
| |
| |-
| |
| |''Experienced [[financial services professional]]''
| |
| |Recently made redundant from an operations role. In process of resigning themselves to a life of contracting, but not quite cool with it yet.
| |
| |-
| |
| |''Board-level legal advisor''
| |
| |Recently laid off from a [[law firm]] after a long and defiant career in [[knowledge management]]. Still in denial about employment prospects but coming round to signing up for Axiom.
| |
| |-
| |
| |''Social media advisor''
| |
| |(1) obsessed with twitter / instagram to the point of believing it a bona-fide commercial utility. <br>(2) (Ergo) A twat.
| |
| |-
| |
| |'' Best-selling author of... ''
| |
| |Greetings dear kind sir/madam I self publish my book i sincerely pray it will change your<ref>I mean '' my'' life.</ref> life<ref>It won't (either of them). </ref> please review it on Amazon. I salute you thanks you!!! (''[[sic]] '')
| |
| |-
| |
| |''Director of [[talent acquisition]]''
| |
| |In [[personnel]].
| |
| |-
| |
| |''Director of [[diversity and inclusion]]''
| |
| |In [[personnel]]. Cosmopolitan-looking and adept at posting shameless canonical corporate speak on [[LinkedIn]]
| |
| |-
| |
| |''Global Head of Client Experience, [[HR]] Business [[Partner]]ing & Leadership, Learning, [[Talent]] and [[Culture]], [[COO]]''
| |
| |In [[personnel]]. ''See also'' “Thought leader”. ''And'' “[[COO]]”, ''for that matter''.
| |
| |-
| |
| |''Digital Thought and Program Leader running large [[end-to-end]] digital programs across multiple geographies.''
| |
| |Got laid off from a service-line role in [[operations]] at Fuji Bank. Now [[Founder and CEO]] of a [[Tech start-up]].
| |
| |-
| |
| |''Experienced senior operations director with proven project management track record''
| |
| |Yet, here you are, “interested to hear of any opportunities in project management. Will even consider contracting.”
| |
| {{tablebottom}}
| |
| {{draft}} | | {{draft}} |
| {{egg}} | | {{egg}} |
| {{ref}} | | {{ref}} |