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Management consultant: Difference between revisions
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One of those people with an [[MBA]] who is profoundly deaf to protest “that is easier said than done”, largely because {{sex|his}} role is to ''say'', while some other poor sap<ref>See, for example, [[Head of the documentation unit]]</ref> is expected to ''do''. | One of those people with an [[MBA]] who is profoundly deaf to protest “that is easier said than done”, largely because {{sex|his}} role is to ''say'', while some other poor sap<ref>See, for example, [[Head of the documentation unit]]</ref> is expected to ''do''. | ||
A | A “good” [[management consultant]] approaches {{sex|her}} task the same way a bad teacher approaches a parent-teacher evening: by begging questions<ref>Sample exchange: <br> | ||
''Teacher'': So, how do you think junior is getting along? <br> | ''Teacher'': So, how do you think junior is getting along? <br> | ||
''Parent'' (''affecting baffled look)'': Um, isn’t that the question I’ve come here to ask you?</ref>. Her first step will be to make her client outline all the opportunities that exist for synergy, optimisation and automation. She will | ''Parent'' (''affecting baffled look)'': Um, isn’t that the question I’ve come here to ask you?</ref>. Her first step will be to make her client outline all the opportunities that exist for synergy, optimisation and automation. She will refrain from recommending anything herself: your [[User acceptance testing|user acceptance]] factor is exponentially higher if you fix the problems the [[middle management]] tier which commissioned you ''thinks'' it has (viz., an expensive and under-performing “[[service line]]”), rather than the one it ''actually'' has (viz., an expensive, pointless and profoundly dim [[middle management]] layer). | ||
Indeed, the art of [[management consultancy]] is to carry out countless chargeable hours precisely ''without'' doing that: the key is to elicit ideas ''from the client'' as to what to do, responsibility for which, when inevitably they fail, can safely be laid at the client’s own door. | |||
In ordinary Euclidian [[space-time]], there is a simple formula — not quite as elegant as ''E = MC<sup>2</sup>'', but close — which sets an immutable bound on the minimum time (''t'') required for a management consultant’s “output” (''∞'') to be implemented<ref>Careful: a management consultant’s output is ''never'' called a “recommendation”.</ref>, which must be longer than the maximum theoretical length (''L'') of the [[management consultant]]’s engagement (''e'''). | In ordinary Euclidian [[space-time]], there is a simple formula — not quite as elegant as ''E = MC<sup>2</sup>'', but close — which sets an immutable bound on the minimum time (''t'') required for a management consultant’s “output” (''∞'') to be implemented<ref>Careful: a management consultant’s output is ''never'' called a “recommendation”.</ref>, which must be longer than the maximum theoretical length (''L'') of the [[management consultant]]’s engagement (''e'''). | ||