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Management consultant: Difference between revisions
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{{A|people|[[File:Sucked_Egg.gif|450px|center|A management consultant’s strategy yesterday]]}}{{quote|A former McKinsey employee has described the company as “capital’s willing executioners”: if you want something done but don’t want to get your hands dirty, McKinsey will do it for you. That escape from accountability is one of the most valuable services that management consultancies provide. | |||
:''[https://www.newyorker.com/science/annals-of-artificial-intelligence/will-ai-become-the-new-mckinsey Will A.I. become the New McKinsey?]'' Ted Chiang, ''New Yorker'', May 2023}} | |||
One of those people with an [[MBA]] who is profoundly deaf to protest “that is easier said than done”, largely because {{sex|his}} role is to ''say'', while some other poor sap<ref>See, for example, [[Head of the documentation unit]]</ref> is expected to ''do''. | One of those people with an [[MBA]] who is profoundly deaf to protest “that is easier said than done”, largely because {{sex|his}} role is to ''say'', while some other poor sap<ref>See, for example, [[Head of the documentation unit]]</ref> is expected to ''do''. | ||
A | A “good” [[management consultant]] approaches {{sex|her}} task the same way a bad teacher approaches a parent-teacher evening: by begging questions.<ref>Sample exchange: <br> | ||
''Teacher'': So, how do you think junior is getting along? <br> | ''Teacher'': So, how do you think junior is getting along? <br> | ||
''Parent'' (''affecting baffled look)'': Um, isn’t that the question I’ve come here to ask you?</ref> | ''Parent'' (''affecting baffled look)'': Um, isn’t that the question I’ve come here to ask you?</ref> Her first step will be to make her client outline all the opportunities that exist for synergy, optimisation and automation. She will refrain from recommending anything herself: your [[User acceptance testing|user acceptance]] factor is exponentially higher if you fix the problems the [[middle management]] tier which commissioned you ''thinks'' it has (viz., an expensive and under-performing “[[service line]]”), rather than the one it ''actually'' has (viz., an expensive, pointless and profoundly dim [[middle management]] layer). | ||
In ordinary Euclidian [[space-time]], there is a simple formula — not quite as elegant as ''E = MC<sup>2</sup>'', but close — which sets an immutable bound on the minimum time (''t'') required for a management consultant’s “output” (''∞'') to be implemented<ref>Careful: a management consultant’s output is ''never'' called a “recommendation”.</ref> | Indeed, the art of [[management consultancy]] is to carry out countless chargeable hours precisely ''without'' doing that: the key is to elicit ideas ''from the client'' as to what to do, responsibility for which, when inevitably they fail, can safely be laid at the client’s own door. | ||
In ordinary Euclidian [[space-time]], there is a simple formula — not quite as elegant as ''E = MC<sup>2</sup>'', but close — which sets an immutable bound on the minimum time (''t'') required for a management consultant’s “output” (''∞'') to be implemented,<ref>Careful: a management consultant’s output is ''never'' called a “recommendation”.</ref> which must be longer than the maximum theoretical length (''L'') of the [[management consultant]]’s engagement (''e'''). | |||
:''T∞ >L<sub>e'</sub>'' | :''T∞ >L<sub>e'</sub>'' | ||
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When the enormity of the situation has finally descended upon all [[stakeholder]]s you will not see the [[management consultant]] for dust. Someone’s posterior will be required for kicking, and most likely it will be the [[head of the documentation unit]]. | When the enormity of the situation has finally descended upon all [[stakeholder]]s you will not see the [[management consultant]] for dust. Someone’s posterior will be required for kicking, and most likely it will be the [[head of the documentation unit]]. | ||
{{Outsourcing}} | |||
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{{ref}} | {{ref}} | ||