Moronic CGI inventions: Difference between revisions

← Older edit

Moronic CGI inventions (view source)

Revision as of 11:19, 20 February 2023

1,140 bytes added , 20 February 2023

no edit summary

Amwelladmin

Bureaucrats, Interface administrators, Administrators

82,976

edits

@@ Line 7: / Line 7: @@
 The thing about earthquakes is you don’t know when or where they are going to happen, or how serious they will be. If you did, the sensible design decision would be to ''not construct your house in that location at all'' — or, if you really knew when the earthquake was coming, to make sure you were were away on that day.
-Unless you are are permanently bedridden, you will spend less than one-third of each day in your bed, so even those who do suffer a catastrophic earthquake on their house have no more than a 1-in-3 chance of being saved by this contraption, and that is if it doesn’t amputate any stray limbs when the gin trap is sprung.
+Unless you are are permanently bedridden, you will spend less than one-third of each day in your bed, so even those earthquake bed owners who do suffer a catastrophic earthquake on their home have at best a 1-in-3 chance of this contraption saving them, and that is if it ''doesn’t'' amputate any stray limbs when it is sprung by tell-tale agitation. Heaven forfend you should be a restless sleeper, or use your bed for more, ahh, ''energetic'' activities.
-Presuming you don't, therefore, the “earthquake bed” is rather like an exorbitantly expensive, failure-prone and murderous warranty for a toaster that is unlikely to break in the first place.
+Presuming you don’t, therefore, the “earthquake bed” is rather like an exorbitantly expensive, failure-prone and murderous warranty for a toaster that is unlikely to break in the first place.
 ===Detachable airplane cabin===
-The self-disassembling-when-already-malfunctioning-in-mid-air plane:
+Herewith the “self-disassembling-when-already-malfunctioning plane”.
+{{quote|“Preliminary calculations show that the weight of the aircraft will increase slightly. BUT YOU WILL FLY WITHOUT FEAR FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY!”}}
 <youtube>https://youtu.be/ZPkr3A9DTOc</youtube>
+“He who saves a single soul saves the whole world,” said Confucius, but we are not sure that trying to save the whole of economy class will save a single soul. It is an interesting question, actually: would first and business get lumped in with coach? Perhaps cattle class just get issued with plastic parachutes while the whole of the cocktail bar and the lie-flat seats is allowed to drift down in stately elegance.
+In any case, the point is this: you are depending on some rather fancy engineering and electronics to work flawlessly to cover the remote contingency that some of the ''other'' fancy engineering and electronics in the plan has broken down. Wouldn’t you be better advised to spend your time improving the rest of the engineering in the plane so it doesn’t fall out of the sky in the first place?
 ===The breaching whale train===
 The pint-sized-train-appearing-from-the-bowels-of-the-earth-at-a-level-crossing:
 <Youtube>https://youtube.com/shorts/jrQ1igCI2X8</youtube>
-We can't stop watching this. It just gets stupider and stupider each time you see it.
-Why would anyone engineer an underground train to spontaneously pop out of the ground at a level crossing?
+We can’t stop watching this. It just gets stupider and stupider each time you see it.
+Why would ''anyone'' engineer an underground train to spontaneously pop out of the ground at a level crossing?
 What happens to the cars that are on the road when it splits in half? Do they just collapse into a chasm?
-Who are these teeny little high speed trains meant to be for in the first place? Subterranean gnomes? Where are they going, and what’s the hurry? Why the need to terrorise Earthling pedestrians?
+Who are these teeny little high speed trains meant to be for in the first place? Subterranean ''gnomes''? Where are they going, and what’s the hurry? Why the need to terrorise Earthling pedestrians?
 {{Sa}}
 *[[LinkedIn]]
 {{C|LinkedIn}}