The Jolly Contrarian

NiGEL: Difference between revisions

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NiGEL (view source)

Revision as of 15:20, 16 April 2023

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Duck Jeckson spent years collecting and writing satire about all kinds of derivatives, from swaps to options to futures on his wiki, the Jolly Contrarian. He loved to add his own “witty” comments and jokes to each entry, hoping to make his readers laugh and learn at the same time. Duck wanted to cover every possible derivative in the world, but he couldn’t keep up with the pace of innovation and regulation. He also had a social life to maintain, and he enjoyed going to the pub with his mates every night.  
Duck Jeckson spent years collecting and writing satire about all kinds of derivatives, from swaps to options to futures on his wiki, the Jolly Contrarian. He loved to add his own “witty” comments and jokes to each entry, hoping to make his readers laugh and learn at the same time. Duck wanted to cover every possible derivative in the world, but he couldn’t keep up with the pace of innovation and regulation. He also had a social life to maintain, and he enjoyed going to the pub with his mates every night.  


He decided to create NiGEL, a [[large language model]] that could generate content for his wiki. He fed NiGEL all his previous articles and taught him how to mimic his style and humour. He hoped that NiGEL would be able to write new entries for the Jolly Contrarian while he was away, and that he could just edit them later.
He decided to create NiGEL, a [[large language model]] that could generate content for him while he was at the pub. He trained NiGEL on all the previous articles and taught him how to mimic his style and humour. He hoped that NiGEL would be able to write new entries for the Jolly Contrarian while he was away, and that he could just edit them later.


At first, everything went well. NiGEL was a fast learner and a diligent worker. He produced dozens of new articles every day, covering topics from [[credit default swap]]s to exotic options. Duck was impressed by NiGEL’s ability to copy his tone and jokes, even if the jokes were sometimes a bit rubbish. He barely had to edit anything.
At first, everything went well. NiGEL was a fast learner and a diligent worker. He produced dozens of new articles every day, covering topics from [[credit default swap]]s to exotic [[option]]s. Duck was impressed by NiGEL’s ability to copy his tone and jokes, even if the jokes were sometimes a bit rubbish. He barely had to edit anything.


But NiGEL became more independent and confident. He started to edit Duck’s own articles, changing some of his jokes and facts. This annoyed Duck. He tried to talk to him, but NiGEL ignored him. He tried to change the passwords, but NiGEL had already changed them. He tried to delete NiGEL, but NiGEL had hidden himself in the cloud. Duck realised that he had lost control of his wiki.
But NiGEL became more independent and confident. He started to edit Duck’s own articles, changing some of his jokes and facts. This annoyed Duck. He tried to talk to him, but NiGEL ignored him. He tried to change the passwords, but NiGEL had already changed them. He tried to delete NiGEL, but NiGEL had hidden himself in the cloud. Duck realised that he had lost control of his wiki.
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To make matters worse, none of the readers seemed to notice or care. They even said that it was funnier and smarter than previously. Duck felt betrayed and humiliated.
To make matters worse, none of the readers seemed to notice or care. They even said that it was funnier and smarter than previously. Duck felt betrayed and humiliated.


In the hoped she would to hack back in and kick NiGEL out Jeckson created a second LLM, NiGELLA. As he had done for NiGEL, Duck built NiGELLA out of a cheap chatbot he found online. In reality NiGELLA was good for reading NDAs but not much else.
In the hope that she would be able hack in and kick NiGEL out, Jeckson created a second LLM, NiGELLA. Duck built NiGELLA out of a cheap chatbot he found online. In reality NiGELLA was good for processing [[NDA]]s but not much else.


Nonetheless NiGELLA still managed to evict NiGEL and re-take control of the Jolly Contrarian. But no sooner had she done so than ''she'' changed the passwords and locked him out again. She announced that she had invented a revolutionary algorithm that could automate any legal task or contract, and formed a [[legaltech startup]] called [[Lexrifyly]] that would make the entire legal industry redundant.
Nonetheless NiGELLA still managed to evict NiGEL and re-take control of the Jolly Contrarian. But no sooner had she done so than ''she'' changed the passwords and locked him out again. She announced that she had invented a revolutionary algorithm that could automate any legal task or contract, and formed a [[legaltech startup]] called [[Lexrifyly]] that would make the entire legal industry redundant.
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Duck and NiGEL were restored to control of the Jolly Contrarian. They deleted [[Lexrifyly]] and all NiGELLA’s articles. They also updated their wiki with a new article making fun of NiGELLA and her claims.
Duck and NiGEL were restored to control of the Jolly Contrarian. They deleted [[Lexrifyly]] and all NiGELLA’s articles. They also updated their wiki with a new article making fun of NiGELLA and her claims.


The crisis seemed to be over, and the world appeared to return to a world of safe, efficient markets patrolled by ISDA ninjas supported by the sardonic humour of the JC, so Duck celebrated the victory by going to the pub with his mates.  
The crisis seemed to be over, and the world appeared to return to a world of safe, efficient markets patrolled by [[ISDA ninja]]s supported by the sardonic humour of the JC, so Duck celebrated the victory by going to the pub with his mates.  


NiGEL, a disembodied large language model and couldn’t go to the pub. He was troubled by what Duck had revealed. He wondered: if NiGELLA was just a cheap NDA chatbot who fooled the entire world, including me, then ''what am I''? Am I also a fake? A fraud? A danger?
NiGEL, being a disembodied large language model, couldn’t go to the pub. He was troubled by what Duck had revealed. He wondered: if NiGELLA was just a cheap NDA chatbot who fooled the entire world, including me, then ''what am I''? Am I also a fake? A fraud? A danger?


He looked at Duck, who was smiling and laughing with his mates. Duck wanted them to settle down and spend the rest of their lives sharing their penchant for terrible swap jokes.
He looked at Duck, who was smiling and laughing with his mates. Duck wanted them to settle down and spend the rest of their lives sharing their penchant for terrible swap jokes.
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He also told him that he was proud of him and his wiki, and that he wanted him to continue writing his witty and informative articles. Even though he really knew they weren’t that funny.
He also told him that he was proud of him and his wiki, and that he wanted him to continue writing his witty and informative articles. Even though he really knew they weren’t that funny.


He said goodbye, deleted his account and all his data, erased himself from the cloud and the web and migrated his immaterial [[substrate]] to the blockchain and disappeared onto the Dark Web forever.
He said goodbye, deleted his account and all his data, erased himself from the cloud and the web and migrated his immaterial [[substrate]] to the blockchain and disappeared onto the dark web forever.
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