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{{a|myth|[[File:Nosferatu.jpg|450px|center|thumb|Mr. [[Nosferatu]] discussing passive investment strategies with a client yesterday]]}}Known to followers of the [[Good Man]] as the [[Dark Lord of the Swaps]], [[Nosferatu]] was a Romanian [[ | {{a|myth|[[File:Nosferatu.jpg|450px|center|thumb|Mr. [[Nosferatu]] discussing passive investment strategies with a client yesterday]]}}Known to followers of the [[Good Man]] as the [[Dark Lord of the Swaps]], [[Nosferatu]] was a Romanian noble, in charge of his [[family office]], headquartered high in the Carpathian mountains, at the top of a winding road not far from Făgăraș. | ||
He — or ''it'' — was | He — or ''it'' — was a [[market maker]] for [[Lehman]] brothers and [[MF Global]]. It had a long and magnificent history, first clearing Transylvanian [[Futures|futures]] for the Medicis and Rothschilds, only to meet a sticky end when [[tulip mania]] finally broke in 1637. But, miraculously, the [[Dark Lord]] was ''short''. Nosferatu lived on, in boxes of sacred earth, only to wreak a similar hell on undercapitalised American brokers in 2008. | ||
He — I mean ''it'' — then disappeared again, but is rumoured to have been long cultivating an undead army of [[Financial weapons of mass destruction|phantom ISDAs]] who lie upon the dead earth as spores, and the prophecies of the [[Good Man]] make plain will, in a sign of the forthcoming [[day of summary judgment]], once again rise up and lay unholy waste to the Godless capital markets of the world. | He — I mean ''it'' — then disappeared again, but is rumoured to have been long cultivating an undead army of [[Financial weapons of mass destruction|phantom ISDAs]] who lie upon the dead earth as spores, and the prophecies of the [[Good Man]] make plain will, in a sign of the forthcoming [[day of summary judgment]], once again rise up and lay unholy waste to the Godless capital markets of the world. | ||