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Prospectus: Difference between revisions
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{{a|repack|}}{{d|Prospectus|/prəsˈpɛktəs/|n| | {{a|repack|{{image|Mrs Lovett|png|“The value of your investment can you down as well as up.”}}}}{{d|Prospectus|/prəsˈpɛktəs/|n|}} | ||
A creative writing exercise for | A creative writing exercise for the sort of professional writer — a [[securities lawyer]] — whose ''bildungsroman'' you would avoid like a case of the clap, especially once you’ve read one of her prospectuses. | ||
A long document describing some [[ | A prospectus — also known as an ''“[[offering circular]]”'', an ''“[[offering memorandum]]”'' and an ''“[[information memorandum]]”'' — is long document describing a [[securities]] offer. | ||
Originally designed for a purpose now lost to the mists of history (but believed to be an amulet or protective charm of some kind) a prospectus is certainly not meant to be ''read'' by anyone, least of all the team of lawyers preparing it. They ''wrote'' it. They know what’s in it. As Sweeney Todd’s Baker<ref>Also oft said by Australian sausage manufacturers. The [[JC]], once, described himself as an Australian sausage manufacturer. True story.</ref> Mrs. Lovett used to say, “''in this game, you don’t eat your own cooking''”. | |||
A prospectus fulfills its purpose simply by ''existing''. | |||
[[Dealer|Securities dealers]] are nonetheless convinced that a prospectus presents them with [[document risk|risk of huge liability]]. Indeed, it probably does. Much of its heft accordingly comprises [[disclaimer]]s, warnings and other careful articulations of studied, feigned ignorance. There is a specific [[legal department]] [[employee]] who is skilled at this — a “[[red-herring ninja]]” — who can forge a living in the cool, nourishing foliage of such a document. | |||
If 400 pages of 9 point Times New Roman describing a [[collateralised debt obligation]] were not dreary enough — and be assured, readers, it ''is'' dreary enough — large swathes of it, concerning such crushingly on-point topics as its non-justiciability in jury trials, will be addressed in [[BLOCK CAPITALS]] to [[RESIDENTS OF NEW HAMPSHIRE]], a constituency that appears perpetually in need of being shouted at. | If 400 pages of 9 point Times New Roman describing a [[collateralised debt obligation]] were not dreary enough — and be assured, readers, it ''is'' dreary enough — large swathes of it, concerning such crushingly on-point topics as its non-justiciability in jury trials, will be addressed in [[BLOCK CAPITALS]] to [[RESIDENTS OF NEW HAMPSHIRE]], a constituency that appears perpetually in need of being shouted at. | ||
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*[[Disclaimer]] | *[[Disclaimer]] | ||
*[[Inhouse legal team of the year]] | *[[Inhouse legal team of the year]] | ||
{{ref}} | |||