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-{{a|shitmaxim|{{image|Hindenburg|jpg|A results-driven airship pilot yesterday.}}}}The accountants’ favourite chocolatier (and our ''second'' favourite chocolatier, after our own in-house chocolatiers, [[Maple, Maple et Cie|Les Frères Maple]], who ) [[Marc de Marquette]], tells us:
+{{a|shitmaxim|{{image|pripyat|jpg|A results-driven village in Ukraine yesterday.}}}}The accountants’ favourite chocolatier (and our ''second'' favourite chocolatier, after our own in-house chocolatiers, [[Maple, Maple et Cie|Les Frères Maple]]) Marc de Marquette, tells us:
 {{quote|“''Marc is driven by results and no better way for him to demonstrate his excellence than winning [[awards]] for his creations and his clients.''”}}
-Not to pick on Marc — some bored copyrighter most likely put those words in his mouth, and look: he’s a chocolate guy, not a marketing guy — but we wonder what he, or any of the dreary multitudes driven to apply this sodden phrase in self-description on their [[LinkedIn]] profiles — can possibly mean. How can one be propelled by the expected outcome of one’s propulsion? This is surely to put the cart before the horse.
+Not to pick on Monsieur de Marquette — some bored copyrighter most likely put those words in his mouth, and look: he’s a chocolate guy, not a marketing guy — but we wonder what he, or any of the dreary multitudes driven to apply this sodden phrase in self-description on their [[LinkedIn]] profiles — can possibly mean.
-Given that ''a'' “result”, of ''some'' kind, is the thermodynamic expectation of every application of force to object however ill-advised, we wonder what people think they are establishing by claiming to be “results-driven”.
+For how can one be ''propelled'' by the expected outcome of one’s own propulsion? This is surely to put the cart before the horse.
+Given that ''a'' “result”, of ''some'' kind, is the thermodynamic expectation of every application of force to object, however ill-advised, we wonder what people think they are establishing by claiming to be “results-driven”.
 The captain of the [[Hindenburg]] got results, after all. So did the deputy chief engineer at Chernobyl. And [[Lehman Brothers|Dick Fuld]]. Just not particularly ''good'' ones.
-So unless your industry is to distinguish yourself from those with whom you work who have ''no'' discernible impact on its operation, good or ill — in fairness, that’s most of them — then you might want to put something a little more specific in your professional autobiography. Or just lie about it. And if you can’t — well: ''are'' you having a discernible impact?
+So unless your industry is to distinguish yourself from those with whom you work who have ''no'' discernible impact on the world, good or ill — in fairness, that’s a great number of people — then you might want to put something a little more specific in your professional autobiography than “results-driven”.
+Or just lie about it. And if you can’t even do that — well: ''are'' you having a discernible impact?
 {{sa}}