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Rube Goldberg machine: Difference between revisions
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[[File:Rube Goldberg machine.jpg|450px|thumb|center|A [[reg | [[File:Rube Goldberg machine.jpg|450px|thumb|center|A [[reg tech]] solution yesterday. Each number represents a [[rent-seeker]].]] | ||
}}{{quote|They | }}{{quote|''They wouldn’t even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders – signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firefighters.'' | ||
:—{{author|Douglas Adams}}, {{hhgg}}}} | :—{{author|Douglas Adams}}, {{hhgg}}}} | ||
Here is how modern management works. | Here is how modern management works. | ||
===1. Start with a process=== | ===1. Start with a process=== | ||
Let’s say we want to negotiate the terms of [[credit support]] under an {{isdama}}. | |||
This ought to be a salutary, utilitarian process, but for reasons explored in horrendous detail [[CSA Anatomy|elsewhere on this wiki]], it isn’t. Nevertheless, along with a great deal of [[iatrogenic]] wordsmithing, to successfully conclude a {{vmcsa}}, a [[negotiator]] must agree a list of fairly structured data points: [[Base Currency - VM CSA Provision|Base]] and [[Eligible Currency - VM CSA Provision|Eligible Currencies]], [[Independent Amount - VM CSA Provision|Independent Amount]]s, [[Threshold - VM CSA Provision|Threshold]]s, [[Minimum Transfer Amount]]s, [[Valuation Time - VM CSA Provision|Valuation]] and [[Notification Time - VM CSA Provision|Notification Time]]s, [[Interest Rate (VM) - VM CSA Provision|Interest Rate]]s for each [[Eligible Currency - VM CSA Provision|Eligible Currency]] — that kind of thing: important, but snoreseville. Note: at the point of [[consensus ad idem]], the [[negotiator]] has all this information in a perfectly replicable, digital format — just how the giant steampunk machine of financial services likes it. | This ought to be a salutary, utilitarian process, but for reasons explored in horrendous detail [[CSA Anatomy|elsewhere on this wiki]], it isn’t. Nevertheless, along with a great deal of [[iatrogenic]] wordsmithing, to successfully conclude a {{vmcsa}}, a [[negotiator]] must agree a list of fairly structured data points: [[Base Currency - VM CSA Provision|Base]] and [[Eligible Currency - VM CSA Provision|Eligible Currencies]], [[Independent Amount - VM CSA Provision|Independent Amount]]s, [[Threshold - VM CSA Provision|Threshold]]s, [[Minimum Transfer Amount]]s, [[Valuation Time - VM CSA Provision|Valuation]] and [[Notification Time - VM CSA Provision|Notification Time]]s, [[Interest Rate (VM) - VM CSA Provision|Interest Rate]]s for each [[Eligible Currency - VM CSA Provision|Eligible Currency]] — that kind of thing: important, but snoreseville. Note: at the point of [[consensus ad idem]], the [[negotiator]] has all this information in a perfectly replicable, digital format — just how the giant steampunk machine of financial services likes it. | ||
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===2. Break it === | ===2. Break it === | ||
For our loyal [[negotiator]] inputs this data not into MySQL, as you would expect, but into a ''[[Microsoft Word]] document''. {{sex|She}} then prints it out, onto paper, spends a couple of days wandering in around the organisation trying to find someone to ''[[Electronic execution|sign]]'' that piece of paper — you know, with a ''[[Wet signature|biro]]'' — and then she scans the whole thing into .tiff format and converts it to email. Thus, we have taken a perfectly processable ASCII-encoded digital artefact, rendered it as an unprocessable | For our loyal [[negotiator]] inputs this data not into MySQL, as you would expect, but into a ''[[Microsoft Word]] document''. {{sex|She}} then prints it out, onto paper, spends a couple of days wandering in around the organisation trying to find someone to ''[[Electronic execution|sign]]'' that piece of paper — you know, with a ''[[Wet signature|biro]]'' — and then she scans the whole thing into .tiff format and converts it to email. Thus, we have taken a perfectly processable ASCII-encoded digital artefact, rendered it as an unprocessable analogue on an expensive, perishable and eminently losable [[substrate]] (paper), re-digitised that as a flipping ''picture'', and then sent it off to a team of [[School-leaver from Bucharest|school-leavers in Bucharest]] whose job it is to receive it, print it out, read it, and transcribe the contents into the collateral engine. | ||
Hence the {{hhgg}} quote at the top. | Hence the {{hhgg}} quote at the top. | ||
===3. Introduce reg | ===3. Introduce [[reg tech]] to “fix” it=== | ||
This would be sad if it were not true. Enter the [[digital prophet]]s | This would be sad if it were not true. Enter the [[digital prophet]]s, with the mandate to fix this. They have been set on it by [[middle management]], and therefore they see the problem through the prism of ''[[Redundancy|removing cost]]'' and, if possible, ''[[Innovation|innovating]]''. | ||
You can hardly get rid of the [[negotiator]] — it’s not like they haven't tried ''that'' millions of times already — so pity those poor Romanians: it’s back to wiping tables at Starbucks for them. But good news! we can deploy [[Innovation paradox|innovative]] [[reg tech]] to replace them! | |||
Here is what they will suggest: get a [[neural network]] to extract the data from the document and populate it into the collateral engine.<ref>It will need [[optical character recognition]] to convert the image back to a digital format of course.</ref> | |||