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To your correspondent, none at all. This is throat-clearing, pointless text which, once in, benefits from the loving embrace of the [[anal paradox]], but fulfils no purpose whatsoever. No lawyer will ever object to it, but — and because — it plays no role in the legal meaning of the contract whatsoever. Can you imagine your learned counsel, [[Sir Jerrold Baxter-Morley, Q.C.]] standing up in court and learnedly submitted, to Lord Justice [[Cocklecarrot MR]]: | To your correspondent, none at all. This is throat-clearing, pointless text which, once in, benefits from the loving embrace of the [[anal paradox]], but fulfils no purpose whatsoever. No lawyer will ever object to it, but — and because — it plays no role in the legal meaning of the contract whatsoever. Can you imagine your learned counsel, [[Sir Jerrold Baxter-Morley, Q.C.]] standing up in court and learnedly submitted, to Lord Justice [[Cocklecarrot MR]]: | ||
{{court scene|II|iv|stares morosely at his brogues, silently cursing the wasted shoe-polish in those nasty little holes}} | |||
:'''Sir Jerrold''': M’Lud, the defendant acknowledges that it was obliged to comply with the plaintiff’s procedures — it says exactly that in clause 93.5(c)(iii)(G) of the [[indenture]], it cannot be denied — but the vital point is this: the plaintiff only had ''one'' procedure. Its operations manager, Mr Strumpet, conceded as much in cross examination this morning. So my respectful submission, M'Lud, is that nowhere in this contract — nowhere — does it require the defendant to comply with a ''single'' procedure. And for this authority I respectfully submit —” ''here Sir Jerrold looks about wildly at his junior, Master Contrario, who looks back at him blankly.'' “— ah, as authority for this well established principle of English, ah, law —” ''here Sir Jerrold discreetly but violently jams the heel of his brogue into his junior’s shin.<br> | :'''Sir Jerrold''': M’Lud, the defendant acknowledges that it was obliged to comply with the plaintiff’s procedures — it says exactly that in clause 93.5(c)(iii)(G) of the [[indenture]], it cannot be denied — but the vital point is this: the plaintiff only had ''one'' procedure. Its operations manager, Mr Strumpet, conceded as much in cross examination this morning. So my respectful submission, M'Lud, is that nowhere in this contract — nowhere — does it require the defendant to comply with a ''single'' procedure. And for this authority I respectfully submit —” ''here Sir Jerrold looks about wildly at his junior, Master Contrario, who looks back at him blankly.'' “— ah, as authority for this well established principle of English, ah, law —” ''here Sir Jerrold discreetly but violently jams the heel of his brogue into his junior’s shin.<br> | ||
:'''Master Contrario''': AAAARGH! ''(collapses in agony in a dead-faint on the courtroom floor.)'' | :'''Master Contrario''': AAAARGH! ''(collapses in agony in a dead-faint on the courtroom floor.)'' | ||
:'''Sir Jerrold''' ''(ostensibly horrified by the scene before him)'': Well, M’Lud this is most unusual! My learned friend is in some awful difficulty and I would pray brief adjournment while — | :'''Sir Jerrold''' ''(ostensibly horrified by the scene before him)'': Well, M’Lud this is most unusual! My learned friend is in some awful difficulty and I would pray brief adjournment while — | ||
:'''Cocklecarrot MR''': While the ground swallows you up, Sir Jerrold? | :'''Cocklecarrot MR''': While the ground swallows you up, Sir Jerrold? | ||