Singulars and plurals: Difference between revisions

{{a|plainenglish|

[[File:Sausage.jpg|450px|thumb|center|A [[singular]] sausage, yesterday]]

}}:'''Cashier''': Two pounds and five pence, please, love.

:'''Den''': Two quid for one bloody sausage!

:'''Cashier''': It was clearly marked, love. “Sausage, beans and chips, two pounds and five pence.”

:'''Den''': Wait a minute! It says “sausa''ges''” up there, not just one sausage! Look at that! Look, it says “sausa''ges''”! Where’s me other sausage, then?

::—''Comic Strip Presents: The Bad News Tour''

To your correspondent, none at all. This is throat-clearing, pointless text which, once in, benefits from the loving embrace of the [[anal paradox]], but serves no purpose beyond the attorney’s noble pursuit of prolixity. No lawyer will ever object to it, but — and ''because'' — it plays no role in unravelling the practical meaning of the legal contract, bar the obvious ones, where a singular does not include the plural, and this language would be a total nonsense.

Can you imagine standing up in court and learnedly submitting that a [[plural]] did not include the [[singular]]?  Good news: just such an exchange features in the pages of the {{jclr}}!Let us turn to our go-to thought experiment: a testy exchange between {{jerrold}} and {{cocklecarrot}}, knee deep as they usually are in bitter [[litigation]].

{{court scene|II|iv|stares morosely at his brogues, silently cursing the wasted shoe-polish in those nasty little holes|rises briskly, causing his chair to scrape flatulently on the parquet floor. {{cocklecarrot}} raises an eyebrow, and Sir Jerrold smiles thinly}}

:'''{{jerrold}}''': M’Lud, the defendant acknowledges that it was obliged to comply with the plaintiff’s procedures — it says exactly that in clause 93.5(c)(iii)(G) of the [[indenture]], it cannot be denied — but the vital point is this: the plaintiff only had ''one'' procedure. Its operations manager, Mr Strumpet, conceded as much in cross examination this morning. So my respectful submission, M'Lud, is that nowhere in this contract — nowhere — does it require the defendant to comply with a ''single'' procedure. And for this authority I respectfully submit —” ''here Sir Jerrold looks about wildly at his junior, Master Contrario, who looks back at him blankly.'' “— ah, as authority for this well established principle of English, ah, law —”  ''here Sir Jerrold discreetly but violently jams his heel into his junior’s shin.<br>

:'''{{jbm}}''' ''(ostensibly horrified by the scene before him)'': Well, M’Lud this is most unusual! My learned friend is in some awful difficulty and I would pray brief adjournment while —  

:'''{{jbm}}''': If it pleases M'Lud.