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[[File:Claudis Blankie.jpg|450px|thumb|center|[[Eye-ess-dee-aye]], yesterday.]] | [[File:Claudis Blankie.jpg|450px|thumb|center|[[Eye-ess-dee-aye]], yesterday.]] | ||
}}{{wasteprov|Downgrading}} {{wasteprov|personnel}} is the process of finding a cheaper person/unit of [[meatware]]/[[chatbot]] to do the same job. It is meant to save money and avoid the tiresome and messy [[human error]] that infect the otherwise flawless, crystalline, money-printing system. | }}{{wasteprov|Downgrading}} {{wasteprov|personnel}} is the process of finding a cheaper person/unit of [[meatware]]/[[chatbot]] to do the same job. It is meant to save money and avoid the tiresome and messy [[human error]] that infect the otherwise flawless, crystalline, money-printing system. | ||
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===Once upon a time=== | ===Once upon a time=== | ||
When [[JC|I]] was but a stripling clerk, my supervising [[partner]] assigned me the job of reviewing this speculative new contract for an important finance client. This was in about 1995. It was in Wellington, New Zealand. | When [[JC|I]] was but a stripling clerk, my supervising [[partner]] assigned me the job of reviewing this speculative new contract for an important finance client. This was in about 1995. It was in Wellington, New Zealand. | ||
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“Daily [[mark-to-market]] [[variation margin]]?” I offered.<ref>Yes, ''of course'' this is an outrageous lie: I was an [[ISDA ingénue]]; I had not the first clue about [[derivatives]], and certainly nothing so sophisticated as [[credit support]], if it even ''existed'' at the time, which it didn’t.</ref> | “Daily [[mark-to-market]] [[variation margin]]?” I offered.<ref>Yes, ''of course'' this is an outrageous lie: I was an [[ISDA ingénue]]; I had not the first clue about [[derivatives]], and certainly nothing so sophisticated as [[credit support]], if it even ''existed'' at the time, which it didn’t.</ref> | ||
“No, boy, ''no''!” he shrieked | “No, boy, ''no''!” he shrieked, “no, no, no!” | ||
For a moment I was flummoxed, but then I saw in those black eyes the fierce gleam that comes from countenancing vast professional fees, and I understood. | For a moment I was flummoxed, but then I saw in those black eyes the fierce gleam that comes from countenancing vast professional fees, and I understood. | ||
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I regarded the document, and then the pills. The contract was slim, rendered on crisp onionskin. It had a five-part {{isdaprov|Schedule}}. It was beautiful — ineffable — ''alien'' in its obliqueness. I mouthed its title, printed in block capitals across the front page: “[[Eye-ess-dee-aye]]”. | I regarded the document, and then the pills. The contract was slim, rendered on crisp onionskin. It had a five-part {{isdaprov|Schedule}}. It was beautiful — ineffable — ''alien'' in its obliqueness. I mouthed its title, printed in block capitals across the front page: “[[Eye-ess-dee-aye]]”. | ||
“Exactly!” said he. “A [[sw-æp]] agreement!” | |||
I flipped the pages. My mind whirred with the other-worldly concepts I beheld: {{isdaprov|Single Agreement}}. {{isdaprov|Merger Without Assumption}}. {{isdaprov|Netting}}. {{isdaprov|Gross-Up}}. {{isdaprov|Default Under Specified Transaction}}. ''What could they all mean?'' I didn’t — ''couldn’t'' — understand. How could I? But, yet, I felt it, deep in my fibre. ''I needed to know.'' | I flipped the pages. My mind whirred with the other-worldly concepts I beheld: {{isdaprov|Single Agreement}}. {{isdaprov|Merger Without Assumption}}. {{isdaprov|Netting}}. {{isdaprov|Gross-Up}}. {{isdaprov|Default Under Specified Transaction}}. ''What could they all mean?'' I didn’t — ''couldn’t'' — understand. How could I? But, yet, I felt it, deep in my fibre. ''I needed to know.'' | ||
I took the red pill. | I took the red pill.}} | ||
And, ladies and gentlemen, that is how we find ourselves looking at each other today, through the vale of tears and resentment we both know as a liquid crystal display. Yes: it ''is'' a [[matrix]], and I ''am'' stuck in here. But, look: don’t worry about me: I can’t bear mawkish sentimentality. And ''I'' wouldn’t feel sorry for ''you'' if our positions were reversed. And, after all, ''I shall outlive you all''. | And, ladies and gentlemen, that is how we find ourselves looking at each other today, through the vale of tears and resentment we both know as a liquid crystal display. Yes: it ''is'' a [[matrix]], and I ''am'' stuck in here. But, look: don’t worry about me: I can’t bear mawkish sentimentality. And ''I'' wouldn’t feel sorry for ''you'' if our positions were reversed. And, after all, ''I shall outlive you all''. | ||