82,968
edits
The Taxonomy of Doom: An Opco Boone Adventure: Difference between revisions
The Taxonomy of Doom: An Opco Boone Adventure (view source)
Revision as of 21:22, 5 July 2021
, 5 July 2021no edit summary
Amwelladmin (talk | contribs) m (Amwelladmin moved page Opco Boone and the Taxonomy of Doom to The Taxonomy of Doom: An Opco Boone Adventure) |
Amwelladmin (talk | contribs) No edit summary |
||
| Line 30: | Line 30: | ||
“There will be no buts in my class, Mr. Boone. No buts.” | “There will be no buts in my class, Mr. Boone. No buts.” | ||
The whole class murmured gloomily in response — all, that is, but [[ | The whole class murmured gloomily in response — all, that is, but [[Roly Punchface]]. | ||
Ramrod sat ramrod-straight in the front row, and yelped, “Good Morning, Ma’am! I say, what have you there? It looks jolly clever!” | Ramrod sat ramrod-straight in the front row, and yelped, “Good Morning, Ma’am! I say, what have you there? It looks jolly clever!” | ||
The Professor brimmed. “Well, | The Professor brimmed. “Well, Roly, I’m glad you asked, and yes it ''is'' jolly clever! This is the very latest in modern risk management! It calculates and monitors all risks, tabulates them, and provides an overall risk rating.” | ||
“Cripes! How does it do that, Ma’am?” | “Cripes! How does it do that, Ma’am?” | ||
“Well, let me show you, | “Well, let me show you, Roly.” | ||
Professor Skanks manipulated the knobs. As she did so, the children could see drive-shafts turning interlocking gears, which drove connected flywheels, which spun tiny fan-belts, which rotated brass ratchets, which triggered a row of winking diodes and a bell that softly pinged. Her eyes betrayed an impish delight at the cleverness of the design: the elegance of the interactions; the intricacy of the machinery. | Professor Skanks manipulated the knobs. As she did so, the children could see drive-shafts turning interlocking gears, which drove connected flywheels, which spun tiny fan-belts, which rotated brass ratchets, which triggered a row of winking diodes and a bell that softly pinged. Her eyes betrayed an impish delight at the cleverness of the design: the elegance of the interactions; the intricacy of the machinery. | ||
| Line 54: | Line 54: | ||
“What’s that, Miss?” | “What’s that, Miss?” | ||
“Well, | “Well, Roly, measured against that ambient risk, legal operating costs are too high!” | ||
George put her hand up. The Professor nodded to her to carry on. “How can you tell what the ambient risk is, just by looking at that machine, Professor?” | George put her hand up. The Professor nodded to her to carry on. “How can you tell what the ambient risk is, just by looking at that machine, Professor?” | ||
| Line 60: | Line 60: | ||
“Can anyone answer that?” | “Can anyone answer that?” | ||
Roly Punchface shot his hand into the air. The Professor pretended not to see it. She cast about the rest of the room. “Anyone?” | |||
“Miss!” squeaked Punchface. | “Miss!” squeaked Punchface. | ||
| Line 76: | Line 76: | ||
“[[Disclaimer|DISCLAIMERS]]?” blurted Algy. | “[[Disclaimer|DISCLAIMERS]]?” blurted Algy. | ||
“Miss!” squeaked | “Miss!” squeaked Roly. | ||
Again, the Professor pretended not to hear. “Anyone?” | Again, the Professor pretended not to hear. “Anyone?” | ||
| Line 84: | Line 84: | ||
“''Heavens'' no! What ''has'' Professor Bumblebore been teaching you?” | “''Heavens'' no! What ''has'' Professor Bumblebore been teaching you?” | ||
“Miss! Miss!!” | “Miss! Miss!!” Roly was hyperventilating now. | ||
“Limited recourse?” put in Boone. | “Limited recourse?” put in Boone. | ||
| Line 90: | Line 90: | ||
“No, no, no! ''Really'', children: You are thinking about this all wrong. Think about the big picture. Think in terms of overall risk.” | “No, no, no! ''Really'', children: You are thinking about this all wrong. Think about the big picture. Think in terms of overall risk.” | ||
Roly Punchface could bear it no longer. “[[Key performance indicator|KEY PERFORMANCE INDICATOR]]S MISS!!!” | |||
The room went quiet. Professor Skanks sparkled with delight. She wheeled on the spot and regarded unctuous little Punchface, licking his lips from the front row. “Ex''actly'', | The room went quiet. Professor Skanks sparkled with delight. She wheeled on the spot and regarded unctuous little Punchface, licking his lips from the front row. “Ex''actly'', Roly! [[Key performance indicator]]! | ||